Dr Syntax, Pete Cannon, Dirty Dike, Lunar C - Grotty lyrics

I owe my mate's mum a bit of gardening
Chill with her son and yo
I still beg your pardoning
Lazy little shitbag naked in a wigwam
I paid to get a ticket
Still break in with a wristband
Maybe you're a big man
Perhaps you've done a bit of bird
Maybe you're the type of man to
Slap about a bit of skirt
Either that or some kind of
Dickhead with the fitted words
To wriggle out the thinnest situation
When it thickens first
I know that you're the biggest of pricks
Cos you're listening to this
With your missus and kids
Getting sticky as a Rizla
Hitting whiskey and spliffs
Head spinning like a Frisbee in
A twister the bit's so listen to this
Shove a pair of scissors in your gob
Pull your pants down and fucking scare
The missus with your nob
Get delicious with the cod
I'm never fishing with a rod
I'll be getting in the kipper
Like I'm pickling the lot

Yo smoking a spliff with a pregnant
Bitch at a bus-stop
Whether I pass it on all depends
On if I get sucked off
'Bout to spend the child benefit's
At the pub hop
Back on the bus to hers and tell
Her kids they can fuck OFF!
Raid their lunchbox just to
Jack a jam sandwich vag magnet
I'm leavin' your gatty slab slanted
Dab hand with a slapper's fanny
I'm fantastic
Stash my package in a fat lass' back passage
Make these rappers feel inferior
When Lunar's here
There ain't no-one to compare me to
It's too unfair chewing there, gurning
A dreadlock in my pubic hair
Holding up a cardboard sign saying
"it's rude to stare"
Stoned and lazy, never on top form
They kicked me out of school and
Told me I'm a lost cause
So many wrong thoughts in my
Brain it's gone warped
I watch porn with a limp dick eating popcorn

If rappers are like MS-DOS i'm the next Xbox
Quicker, more game sinners, pure flames
Disagree I bet you're more
Ignorant than redneck cops
And that's word to Big Bird and Thora Hird
Me killing it as standard as
Verse chorus verse chorus verse awesome work
Unless you're a boring nerd
And all you heard was distorted dirt
In which case do us all a big favour
Push a switchblade in your rib cage
With haste fuck your mixtape
You a bitch, mate
Go eat some fingers fishcakes
With your shit mates
It's a testosterone fuelled romp
Your boo wants some hot goo like
She's got the fondue on ooh wrong
Too strong new song
Huge thong

I bring the bangers
It's ya boy known as Pete Cannon
One look at me girls get the wet salmon
You rap multisyllable bars with bare boys
I do a show
Fuck a sket and nick her sex toys
Like I wanna hear thoughts in my rap music
Fuck you with your dick, this is rap music
It's easily to the bant, this is rap music
Balls out when I rap, this is rap music
I was digging before you had pubes donny
You sample MP3s you fucking goon dummies
Know I'm as Hip-Hop as hard as it comes
Keep a spare one in my house
Just to grate to my drums
I keep it one way only fresh haircut
Trimmed up beard and some Mach3 nuts
Master of all trades
Yeah you're damn right sluts
I do the beats, do the bars
Do the mix and do the cuts wHAT!?