Psychostick - My Clingy Girlfriend lyrics

I met her one day at the grocery store
She had a jar of pickles
And ingredients for smores I
Said to her smores are sweet but I'm sweeter
She laughed and said "Sure you are
Make me a believer" oh smores

I met her later for a cup of coffee
Something strange about the way
She looked at me
I took her hand, pulled her close
Then I kissed her
"Don't ever leave me" she said
In a creepy whisper oh shit

My new clingy girlfriend
Loves to text me all night
My clingy girlfriend
Is jealous of all kinds of Women, my friends
My dog my Xbox all of the above gotta be
Second to my clingy girlfriend

A year goes by, and she moves in with me
My man cave is now pink and
There are tampons under the sink
I had a drum set I played but she pawned it
At her friends wedding
She reached for the bouquet and she caught it
AWKWARD

She spends her time looking
At wedding dresses
Rings and cakes and flowers
YEAH, she's kind of obsessed
I think it's time to consider other options
Cuz I suspect that she's poking
Holes in the condoms need proof

I made her a cupcake to soften the blow when
I told her "I'm not ready
For this level of commitment"
She grabbed for a fork then
Stabbed me in the arm
And began to pull my hair out
While expressing her resentment
And then she told me
She would murder my whole family
My coworkers and the girl who took my
Order that day at Wendy's
Then she set the house on fire
And ran screaming right outside
And I felt guilty as the flames
Reflected off her teary eyes
So I took her back
And now she won't let me have my car
Or my dog or my beer or my porn
My bathroom, my guitar, my pool table
My camera my iPhone, my website
My Macbook Pro or my iPad
My vitamins or my coffee maker
The internet or my waffle iron
My tools, my washer dryer combo
Riding lawnmower, my fuel filter or my PS3
Or my sousaphone or my fishing
Pole or my life