Andy Shauf - My Dear Helen lyrics

My dear Helen
It's been a while since we've talked
Charlie and I haven't been up to a whole lot
He's slowing down a little and
My knee's acting up
Yeah, we're quite a pair of geezers
Moving slower than molasses
You'd be laughing if you saw us
You always loved to tease

I dug up an old bottle of your raspberry wine
So I'm slouched out on the porch swing
Just taking my time
My mind keeps turning out
These pictures of you
You were dancing in the kitchen
And I was enjoying my view
Oh, Charlie was squirming just
Two steps behind you

My dear Helen, do you remember when you said
That you'd be waiting at the gates
So you could sneak me in?
Well it sure was funny
But it still caught in my throat
And when I think about it now
It still makes me choke
And I wonder if those gates would
Ever open up for me

Helen, my dear, I do have something to tell
I don't know how to start
So I guess I just will
See, these nights have been hot
It's that muggy sort of air
Doesn't let me get to sleep
So I usually just lie there
On top of my quilt with Charlie by my feet

Last night
As I laid there frustrated and tired
I was sat up in my bed
By the hens starting wild
I thought, 'That fox is back again
He's gonna rob me blind
I don't know how he gets in
But I'd better make him fly'
So I took my leaning rifle out the door

I fired off a shot, aiming far into the heat
And as soon as it was flying
I felt weak in my knees
I heard shoes turning gravel and
Then tires spitting rocks
I heard a gasp for air
And my stomach tied in knots
Charlie started whining with his
Tail between his legs we wandered out slow
But my heart was breaking ribs
I couldn't hear nothing
And there was a girl lying twisted
My hands were trembling and I
Felt that she was limp
Her pulse wasn't tapping
So I felt sick to my stomach
Charlie was frozen, so I went for a shovel
And I buried her body
I didn't know what else to do
If I'd only aimed a little higher
If I'd only thought before I fired
I hope God can forgive me, I
Hope for you to forgive me, too
I'm just a tired old man
Just waiting to join you so here I am
Slouched on this old porch swing
Thinking about heaven
Thinking about everything
So be waiting by those gates
You might need to sneak me in
I don't know how they feel
About us accidental killers
I don't know how they feel
About us tired old men
I don't know how they feel about
Us tired old murdering men
I don't know how they feel about
Us tired old murdering men