Driveways - Cemetery Gates lyrics

I know that we're different but I can't relate
I don't think I would make it inside of the gates
With the best of intentions you thought you could help
I just can't stare at a headstone and talk to myself
As if it were somebody else
But hell I could gloss over memories
And get lost in a melody
I wrote to cope with a past that was dead to me
I'd deal with the devil if I could forget
And be ignorant rather than cynical
Innocent rather than miserable
Difficult tragic decisions were dissonant static and rhythms
Conditioned to quietly die

Feel like I'm fading I'm dying away
When I let go
Write something meaningful I wouldn't say
On my headstone
Go through the rituals make them believe
That I'll be remembered forever
And try to pretend I was better
In words that if I wasn't dead, you would never recite

She heard the news and she fell to the floor
I still wonder why I was hesitant for
The end of a life that's a hell of a thought
There's solace inside of a burial plot
I walked through the gates
Expressionless look on my face
Kept my composure in place
Faked an embrace
Tried to pretend in your faith
I'd deal with the devil to stay
Ignorant rather than cynical
Innocent rather than miserable
Difficult tragic decisions were dissonant static and rhythms
Conditioned to quietly die

Hold it together
My heart turns cold with the weather
Feels like October Forever
I think I'm part of it now