Fake Problems - Born & Raised lyrics

On April 29th, 1980-something
I was born to a new proud mother
She said she would always care for
Me 'til the day she died
And she'd never let anyone ruin my life
But they sure tried

The day that I turned 18
My grandfather told me he said "Chris
I think you should join the army"
I said I don't really think
I'm cut out for that
No, I'm fairly certain I wouldn't last
But, I do agree the
Benefit's are quite astounding
But, I know that I would throw
Up if saw someone dying
But, if I went I would make
The best of every moment
And show respect to my commanding officer
And come home with a medal
Or something cool like that

Just a few months ago my best friend inquired
He said "do you think you'll
Ever go back to college?" i said yeah, sure
Eventually when the time is right
When I find a university I kinda like
Because I do agree the
Experience is quite enticing
If I don't get too distracted
By all the drinking

But, if I went I would make
The best of every moment
And pay attention to the teacher
And come home with some knowledge
Or something great like that