Lecrae - Deconstruction lyrics

Find your way, find your way
Find your way, find your way
Find your way back home
No, time won't take too long
Put it behind you
You can still find your way, find your way
Find your way, find your way
Find your way back home
When you feel too far gone
He can still find you

I deconstructed long before people knew
What to call it i know that's scary to some
Folks, so hold on, let me pause it
Take you back to how it started
Maybe you relate
Maybe you ain't never met me
But you know my pain
Focused on Jesus in Atlanta
Fresh from Tennessee wasn't legalistic
Catch me with a cup of Hennessey
I would speak at churches
Hang with leaders and such
You know, Judah, Piper, and Keller
Tony Evans was clutch
I was so involved, never thought
That I could fall, y'all
Right before the fall of 2015, I was all off
It involved killing Michael Brown
Had me feeling down
Tweeted 'bout it, Christians call me clown
I was losing ground
And Voddie was a hero of mine
Met with him plenty times
This time, when he spoke
It cut me deeper than I realized
Doubled down, spoke about my pain
I was met with blame
"Shame on you, 'Crae, stop crying
Get back to Jesus' name"
Cut me deep, I was losing sleep, "God
Ain't these Your sheep?"
Why they hate me like they do?
Maybe grace is really cheap
Maybe this is all a lie
They don't really love me
They just love it when I say the
Things they wanna hear in public
They're like following they God mean
Turnin' on Black people
Is Black evil? Why do they
Hate and attack people?
I'm vulnerable and cautious
I'm reading Baldwin
Ta-Nehisi got me thinking
Now I'm going all in
I ain't know if God was real no mo'
Every day we gettin' killed and
I can't deal no mo'
I started slipping in the darkness
I'm feeling heartless
Christians got me traumatized
I don't know who God is
Drinking liquor for my therapy
And smoking Mary tree
Maybe I should get divorced
I don't know why she married me
What's the purpose? What's the point?
Nothing matters, I'm just matter
I'm just atoms
Ain't no Eve and ain't no Adam
Where the Xannies? Let me at 'em
I was floating in confusion until I dropped
Woke up in a clinical depression
Then it all stopped
Sinnin' like Saul 'til I hit Damascus
God knocked me off the mule
'fore I hit the casket
Heard a faint voice calling me late
I couldn't sleep
It said, "'Crae I know you love Me
I need you to feed My sheep"
Tears streaming as I weep
Felt I heard the Lord speak
I've been running from You
But You never ran away from me
It was people that hurt me, it wasn't God
Though
I let the church trauma turn into a God wound
I learned the western world has
Twisted up the Scriptures
So when I re-enlisted
I learned the eastern context the
Way that Jesus meant it
My peace has been cemented
My soul has been re-lifted
My deconstruction ended
Reconstruction is beginning
My peace has been cemented
My soul has been re-lifted
My deconstruction ended
Reconstruction is beginning

Find your way, find your way
Find your way, find your way
Find your way back home
No, time won't take too long
Put it behind you
You can still find your way, find your way
Find your way, find your way
Find your way back home
When you feel too far gone
He can still find you

I'll never be the same be the same
I'm comin' back to you coming back