Rittz - I Saw Mommy lyrics

Merry Christmas to you
Merry Christmas to you
I just came from a party
That was wonderful and very nice


1987 Christmas eve in Pennsylvania
When someone mentions Christmas it's the
One I always think of
My momma told me in my bunk
She told me that I may hear
Sleigh bells on the roof
If you awake you better play dead
I make cookies for the reindeer
And you might run em off if they see you
(whatever)
Teasin', as if Santa comes at all
Said "Good night love you, Ma
When you think you gonna wake
Us? I'm so anxious"
I told you silly, 7: 30, 8-ish
It's hard to practice patience while
I'm guessing' on my presents
I asked 'em for a Michael Jackson glove
A couple now I'm restless
I whispered at my brother but he's sleepin'
Didn't think I would be able to
I woke up from a dream and seen a closet 3am
I know I need to try to shut
My eyes and cover up
But, I just want to climb under
This bunk and try and look
And maybe get a glimpse of Santa Claus
(Santa?) it might be meant for me to
Be the only kid that does
But, I was dumb, using my imagination
I know the right thing to do
Was climb back in the blankets
Right when I was ready, changing my mind
Something unbelievable happened
It's hard to fathom, explain and describe
You ever heard the saying, "Silence is loud?"
Well if someone's behind you
Or right beside you
Trying to guide you to sound
Wasn't certain you heard
Even harder to prove i hear harnesses soothe
Crossin' on top of my roof
Gotta be smooth and maneuver
Your door squeaks when it opens
Tiptoein', it's risky
Get to the hallway and notice
I close my eyes before I got to the overlook
Butterflies overtook to my body (1, 2, 3, 4)
I count to 5 and I open 'em
Holy fuck, holy fuck, it's Santa!
He's standing below me (Santa)
I'm staring breathless
His presence is fluoresced and he's glowin'
And I know when my momma walked
Into the room where he was
She was nude, he started smootchin' her
Using his tongue (fucking grose)

I saw my mommy kissing Santa Claus
On the living room floor
(on the living room floor)
I will try and take her panties off
I can't witness no more
I saw my mommy kissing Santa Claus

This can't be good for our 'ventual self
Santa is standing inside of my house
And his dick is out
When my mom put her lips around it to kiss it
That's when I yelled at the top of my lungs
"Santa get your liver-spotted dick
Off my mom!" santa was funny said, "Ho ho"
I screamed at my mom
Suddenly she snapped at me
Get your ass back to sleep in your bunk
I said
"I saw the nasty things that you're doin'
I saw you goin' down on Santa
No wonder why you and dad are divorced"
Santa said, "Joy to the world!"
(Shut up, Santa)
My mom interrupted and tried explaining
I thought you and your brother were tucked in
I started drinking
('course you did) watching Christmas Vacation
Shoulda told you the truth
Didn't want to take the mystery
O' Christmas away yet
You're just a kid and you were
Never meant to see that (No shit)
See, back when dad stopped coming
By on Christmas eve
That's when things happened
That would change the course
Of Christmases to come
It's hard to keep track what year
It was when this begun (Who cares?)
But, I was shocked like you when
I saw Santa in the room
Mesmerized, he said my cookies were
The best he ever tried (Your cookies?)
He let me ride the sled
We did a few deliveries
One lucky night he tried to
Take me through a chimney
And we got stuck inside and that's
The year when this all started
Trapped inside a chimney in his arms
(oh my god) i feel my heart is beating
(what) out in my chest
Feelings that we compress (are you serious?)
Or I mean, are we all Mrs Claus or kids
An' I guess
'cause start the intimate kiss we had
I know you kids look at
Santa like he's a saint (not anymore)
Once I see him, I think of sex
"Momma, how can you look at his wrinkly ass?
I bet to see his dick you gotta
Lift up a crease of flab"
And she just laughed, and said
His belly ain't the only thing big and fat
You can trust me i told her, "Fuck you
Mom and you're disgusting"
This must be a terrible nightmare, I hope so
'Cuz Santa's a perv and mom's a Ho Ho, Ho!

I saw my mommy kissing Santa Claus
On the living room floor
(on the living room floor)
I will try and take her panties off
I can't witness no more
I saw my mommy kissing Santa Claus