Bilmuri - Optimal lyrics

I know that it's here to stay
But I'm trying to get away through pain
Does anything mean anything?
But I'm stuck here trying to heal again

Not ideal, not your rose colored lens
Am I cynical or real again?
Not ideal, not your rose colored lens
I just need to feel alive every now and then

I want something to die for
So I can love again
Scared that I won't be able
To look above again

And they will all leave
Attachment is pain, love is death
Loneliness is all the same

Please help me find something that
Makes me feel alive
That gives me a reason to
Not be afraid to die

I want something to die for
So I can love again
Scared that I won't be able
To look above again

I see the smoke in front of me
I feel the warmth again
I hope it doesn't kill me
'Cause loneliness will