Ej Laflare - .smile lyrics

Smile

When I draw myself in pictures
I draw my smile upside down
Because I can't recognize myself if
I don't frown so if I go down
I'm at peace cause I didn't know
What I know now just so I don't drown
Living life is like a chore
I don't wanna be that person
In the mirror anymore who is he?
I hate him wouldn't date him
I don't recognize him
And yet, for some reason, I despise him
Is it really surprising?
I'm going through the motions
Floating with my back towards the ocean
Broken and yet, I feel chosen
And yet
I'm still hoping that she'll be coming back
Because that door is slowly closing
For so long it's been open
I traded her for vanity
Every fucking thought is just a
Seed for my insanity
I never fabricate because it's
Never been my style
But in front of the cameras
I can't let them see denial
The pain of every smile

So smile, if you can
Cause even if it's fake and I'm in denial
For you, I'd be happy to die with a smile

Ooh, in this darkness please light my way
Light my way

They love your smile
Unaware that it's a strain
It's a curse I have to live
With after causing so much pain
They don't know it's a facade
And I'm the one to blame
Just a lie that temporarily shields
Me from the rain
I know it sounds insane, but trust
For my outside life, a happy face is a must
And I know it sounds pretty asinine
So it doesn't matter what I say
Sometimes I have to fake it just
To make it through the day
I walk in crowds with my head held high
It takes all of my fucking
Energy to sell that lie cause in private
I walk around with my head held down
Eyes to the ground
Hidden from the media hounds
I have to lie to myself
Every time someone meets me
And say that I'm okay every
Time that they greet me
Cause the pain is so goddamn deep
It leaves a bruise
I may wear a smile, but it's a mask
I'm Tom Cruise

So smile, if you can
Cause even if it's fake and I'm in denial
For you, I'd be happy to die with a smile

Ooh, in this darkness please light my way
Light my way

Inside I struggle with the
Batman and the Joker i know what I did
And I know what side is closer
I know what you are thinking
And what you think I should say
Do I regret my decision? Every goddamn day
So this black man pays for
The sins of his faults
Watch him sign over his soul
As it turns into salt
And watch him cope with that
Decision using whiskey and denial
When he starts to see the light
Then he finally can smile

Ooh, in this darkness please light my way
Please light my way light my way