Evelyn Evelyn - The Tragic Events of September - Part I lyrics

Are you there, Evelyn?
Yes, of course I am, I'm
Always here what's the matter, evelyn?
I'm frightened it's that time of year again
Isn't it Evelyn?
Yes, it is that time of year again, Evelyn
Tell me once more how it all happened, Evelyn
Hush now we don't talk about that
Because it makes us sad, evelyn
I won't be sad this time i promise please?
Tell me again about the
Tragic events of September, evelyn

The year is 1985 "St elmo's Fire" is
At the top of the charts
The wreckage of the Titanic
Has just been discovered
At the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean
And on a small farm
On the Kansas-Colorado border
A young mother is about to give birth
The local doctor has predicted twins
Which gladdens the hearts of the
Woman and her husband
Who could certainly use the extra
Help around the farm
But the birth does not go well
The terrified father drives his screaming
Hemorrhaging wife to the local clinic
A poorly funded facility housed in
A converted Airstream trailer
The presiding physician is Dr
Charlie Von Kook
A local denture maker of dubious
Training with eccentric religious beliefs

The labour is long and
Painful, and Louisa Neville
A Mennonite girl
Who had given up a promising
Career as a legal assistant
To join her first and only love on the
Rundown farm that was his only inheritance
May her soul rest forever in peace
Is pronounced dead by the doctor
"She has died"
At 11: 23 AM, on the 11th day of September
Precisely 12 minutes after the birth
Of her twin daughters

The girls are parapagus, tripus
Dibrachius twins conjoined at the side and
Sharing between them:
3 legs, two arms, two hearts
Three lungs and a single liver
Without hesitating
Dr von Kook places the infants
On the operating table
Muttering biblical quotations of
Doubtful accuracy
The doctor leaves the trailer and returns
With a gas powered chainsaw
The noise is deafening in the
Small space as he
Starts the engine and prepares
For the gruesome operation
"Dear Father, guide my hand"

At this very moment
Sheriff Wilbur Owens notices the
Nevilles' car parked outside
Steps in to see if he could be of assistance
"What's goin' on in here?"
Seeing the crazed doctor hovering above
The newborns with the teeth
Of the chainsaw about to connect
With their innocent flesh
The valiant sheriff draws his
Pistol and fires
As the bullet pierces his heart
Dr von Kook emit's a
Cry and stumbles backwards
Samuel Neville, a timid, nervous man
Who wanted nothing more
Than a quiet country life with many children
Is still in a state of shock over the
Death of his young wife and the alarming
Physiology of his daughters when he is struck
In the neck by the chainsaw blade
Killing him instantly

Distraught, the good sheriff takes the
Crying infants to his car
"Betty? You are not gonna
Believe me this time"
He radios back to the station where it
Is arranged for the twins to
Be admitted to the Bethany Center for
Developmentally Disabled Youth into Topeka
Sheriff Owens decides to deliver the twins
To the Bethany Center personally
Less than an hour into the drive, an
Oncoming truck swerves, crosses the median
And strikes the sheriff's car
The sheriff is thrown into the windshield
Knocking him unconscious
He will die thirty minutes later
From loss of blood

Meanwhile, the world has become a sea
Of feathers as the truck's cargo
Of live chickens, many among them
Now seriously injured or dead
Spill into the road
A small awkward man limps out
Of the truck's cab
And cautiously approaches the
Sheriff's vehicle

The man's eyes focus on the twin girls
Calmly looking up at him from the back seat
Ignoring the dying sheriff
The truck driver lifts the infants
Into his arms and
Sets them in the cab of the damaged vehicle
He unhitches the trailer, climbs
Into the cab
Abandoning the defenseless chickens to their
Grim fate on Interstate 70
A smile forms on his lips as he puts the
Truck into gear and continues
Down the highway