Handguns - Self Portrait lyrics

Life is one fucking beauty contest
After another school, then college
Then work fuck that and fuck the Air
Force Academy if I want to fly, I'll find a
Way to fly you do what you love
And fuck the rest

Ever since I was a kid
I knew that I was different from the rest
With shaking hands and
A chemically-unbalanced head
I scared the shit out of
Everyone with everything I said
I always had the hardest time
Making new friends and
I still get those headaches I
Did when I was young
I still forget to watch the words
That fall off my tongue

This is the soundtrack to a movie
A motion picture that will always move me
A painted portrait of candid moments
My heart's a canvas and I'm the illustrator

A suburban family home, a bedroom of my own
A collection of CD's stacked up next
To a blown out stereo
Were the only things that keep
Me from feeling alone
Like I had someone to talk to
It's hard enough when no one seems to get you
Most days I feel fine, and others I feel like
I'm dying on the inside
Forcing smiles on the outside
I'm an optimist and a pessimist in one

This is the soundtrack to a movie
A motion picture that will always move me
A painted portrait of candid moments
My heart's a canvas and I'm the illustrator

And if I were to suddenly die
I'd take a good look back at my whole life
Be proud of the things that I said and I did
I know I wasn't innocent but
I've always listened to the pound of the kick
And the strum of the pick telling
Me that this is it
(I'm an optimist and a pessimist in one)

This is the soundtrack to a movie
A motion picture that will always move me
A painted portrait of candid moments
My heart's a canvas and I'm the illustrator

I couldn't paint you a better picture