Hank Green - Crime Dramas Suck lyrics

There's a place where you don't want to be
Where people die constantly
And they never die in normal ways
It's preposterous but still cliche
When your drug dealer's aunt kills your
Mom in a duel by
Chopping off her head with a
Scythe in the pool
Well their not saying it makes sense
They're just interpreting the evidence
This is the plot to every
Television crime show from CSI
To Columbo and I think you
Know what's in store
That guy we met in the first fifteen minutes
Will come back cause you know he did it
They're not even trying any more
And i'm getting bored
There's semen all over the crime scene
So they use the super
Fancy semen testing machine
And the DNA database gets a hit
But it looks like he might
Still get away with it
But the final piece of
Evidence totally stumps
The bad guy's defence and he breaks
Down in front of everyone and tells
Them exactly how it was done

This is the plot to every
Television crime show from CSI
To Columbo and I think you
Know what's in store
That guy we met in the first fifteen minutes
Will come back cause you know he did it
They're not even trying any more
And I'm getting bored

By the middle of the first season
Murder is eclipsed by sexual tension
And I guess that probably happens a lot
Since crime fighting people are always so hot
But then the serial killer kidnaps
The girl and they promise
To save her if it costs them the world
And they find her two seconds before she dies
And they hug and they laugh
And they screw and they cry

This is the plot to every
Television crime show from CSI
To Columbo and I think you
Know what's in store
That guy we met in the first fifteen minutes
Will come back cause you know he did it
They're not even trying any more
And I'm getting bored