Hank Green - Hank Roasts Himself Diss Track lyrics

Good morning, John there is a Roast Yourself
Challenge happening right now
I've got some lyrics we're gonna do it
It's probably a bad idea yo, what's up?
Hank Green!
Here to roast myself like Ryan Higa said
Giving it all that I gotta give

I haven't even started
Already feeling culturally appropriative
Here I am
Sitting where I sit every Thursday morning
Yeah, Thursday, 'cause I'm
Careful, I'm normal, i'm boring
I'm not gonna risk a punishment
I no longer have time for that
I keep adding to my list 'cause I
Like getting hit with baseball bats
Nah, it's 'cause I like how it
Makes me feel like I matter
'Cause, I'm doing things
Even though it's not real
I want to be remembered
But here's what's pretty clear:
Someday there will be no humans left
To remember anybody was here
I need approval from society
So I do what it expects of me
And as a straight pale male
I can do it quite expediently
I sit in front of books so
That you know that I'm smart
And while my brother has natural puff
I use the stuff I got at Wal-Mart
The majority of my audience wants
Me to feel the Bern
But, I'm too old for revolution, I just
Don't want to feel the Donald Trump, okay?
Spending money has always given me anxiety
I avoid cursing because my freedom
Is trumped by propriety
And I'll never be like Pewds
On the cover of Variety
And having a notable brother
Doesn't convey notoriety
I keep talking about a book
That I'm gonna write someday
But, it's never gonna be TFIOS
So why do I try anyway?
But, I love Snapchat like a tween
So let's do that instead
Takin' cat snats with my Gilbahrt
Doin' it straight from my bed
I'm thirty-six years old
But I pretend to be a punk rocker
But as you probably heard
I'm a nerd who sings
Mostly about Harry Potter
And thanks to a teleprompter
I get to pretend that I know everything
About the standard model and philosophy
But mostly I'm just reading
So I pay people to do the
Things and to help me create
It's capitalism, a system I support but my
Former self would hate
I pontificate like I'm an expert
But I'm really not that great and yes
If she asked? I would
Be Hillary's running mate
But she's not gonna
'Cause, I'm a gangly white dude
Roastin' myself on YouTube
I may be a little old to be doing this stuff
Maybe a little less sillier in the future?

Just chill it out a little bit? Iii feel
Like maybe focus on the educational stuff?
Not the, like
The fun hip rapping challenges?
That doesn't seem like a good idea nah