Hank Green - Mules Are So Half Ass lyrics

The mink lost her furry scarf
She said it was stole
And the shoe salesman wanted to help
Cause he had so much sole
But then his whole left side fell
Off but he's all right now
And the pregnant heifer saw it happen yeah
She had a cow

And the CO2 delivery guy always gives me gas
And I really hate mules
Cause they're so half-ass
Yeah, I really hate mules
Cause they're so half-ass

The bike can't stand up by it'self
It says it's two tired
And the human cannonball was late for
Work and he got fired
And if your pants are too big
You'll get exposed in the end
And if you crash your fancy car
You'll see how a Mercedes bends
And the CO2 delivery guy always gives me gas
And I really hate mules
Cause they're so half-ass
Yeah, I really hate mules
Cause they're so half-ass

I forgot how to throw a boomerang
But then it came back to me
It's just like riding a bike
Or playing with your Wii
And if you don't pay your exorcist
You'll get repossessed
And the pirate shot himself so he
Could have that dead man's chest

And the CO2 delivery guy always gives me gas
And I really hate mules
Cause they're so half-ass
Yeah, I really hate mules
Cause they're so half-ass