Joe Budden - Dear Diary lyrics

It's five o'clock, I'm just getting home
Roaming on my own what can I tell her
That she might understand?

The soundtrack to my life is
Like CNN first shit
Images like CNN but worse shit
I would down the whole Pinot Gris
But, I'd see the group home
Without the Primo beats and it hurts my soul
I'm a warrior so though the
Odds is against a nigga, dirk gon' choke
Some people confide in the person
That they sleep with
I've learned there's no such
Thing as a secret (oh)
I can't describe the feeling I get
You was riding shotgun
I was wheeling the whip
Shit, I even let you rock out
Being Bill Belichick
Tapin' from the sidelines, stealin' my shit
But dawg, you was like a mini me, mocked me
Envied me
Turns out you was blowin' hot air, Kenny G
But, you was cool, accepted you instantly
Not a groupie but you had a few tendencies
And though we share a few memories
Couple wrong turns'll turn a
Friend to an enemy
See, phony people like phony people
Even you could be mistaken if
You phone these people, look
When you invite the nerds to the cool table
Shit is bound to break up like a pool table
So wack dudes'll start feeling like the shit
And you thinkin' it's you
It's really where you sit
Or maybe you was neglected
'Cause when you take the front down
And strip a nigga naked
He's dying to be accepted (oh)
I did that, just the way you was
Now you a stranger
Nothing like the way you was
But uh, you not real, you not Rachel
You not Worm, you not Dill, shit
You not chill i thought you had some couth
Fuck the fake shit
I'm really feel that you tryna screw me
And you a little smarter
Than the average dude
So it took a nigga just
A little longer to see
They tried to warn me
Fought with my girl erry night about you
Shit only hurts cause she was right about you

She run around wanting to shoot
You the fair one
I keep telling her "chill, I don't care none"
I got another side I never showed to you
The side where everybody is disposable
See, relationships are never a threat
Cause, I'll erase the history and
Act like we never met
Become done giving a fuck and done calling
I got your e mail, I was done way before then
(oh)

Dear Diary
I don't wanna keep shit inside of me
I'd rather just speak to you privately
Maybe it's my mood, as far as I can see
There's really no point in having
This guy with me

Change from the days of us
Getting in your truck
It's bigger than one song
It's bigger than a buck
It's bigger than me, bigger than buck
Bigger than voodoo, it's bigger
Than luck, shit, it's bigger than us

I always call niggas fools for wanting
To learn the hard way (when)
When I'm really the fool for tryna teach 'em
When the blinds leading the blind
You can't reach 'em
If niggas ain't as hungry as
You then why feed 'em?
Niggas ain't tryna be lead then why lead 'em?
Having big problems with your dogs
Why breed em?
I'll keep my part up, keep my guard up
Was like Thundercats but changed
Faster than Cheetara
This a small part of a larger issue
Sometimes acceptance is so hard to get to
But we all equal, no one lower or above me
I love my team just as much as they love me
If not more if I turn the knob we
All going through the door
I ain't coming back for y'all
The whole crew feel the same as me
How could you ignore something
So plain to see? I'm being ig'nant
That get on my nerves every minute
What's plain to some is
Really Burberry printed

Being so real sometimes is a slow kill
We was one squad
You broke out like Mike Schofield
I want fillet mignon, you want oatmeal
Add up our differences equals up to no meal
No mills, yup, no deal, why
You gotta chase shit
To know it's no thrills, for real

A nigga still beefin' with his baby momma
(BUT)
Only thing my baby ain't a baby no more
Hit her on MySpace
Maybe she ain't shady no more
Sent old girl a message
No reply but she read it
Some things are so embedded and our heads is
Looking for O's but get X's
Dealing wit ya exes
I was one long line away from the Tetris
She sent me the L, that sent me to hell
To the point where I’m denied my son
I don't see him, don't talk to
Him, I don't greet him, don't walk wit' him
But, I pay for him like he's an object
No matter how right I am
In court I can't object
Dear Diary, how could she deny me?
How she go to bed without
It fucking with her psyche?
Is she wrong using him so I can come back?
(or) am I wrong for wishing I
Could get my cum back?
Looking for sun, all I see is the hail
How I'm gon' trust? All I see is betrayal
It's like they keep trying more
And more to subdue me
And only you understand
Signed by yours truly