KILLJAY - IF NOTHING CHANGES.. lyrics

I feel it coming they tell me im next up
But i don't know if i want it
Im taking these meds to numb out the pressure
Shaking in bed at night pain doesn’t let up
I could be better but i don't wanna be
I ain't showing any interest in healing
Overtaken by the strangest of feelings
Overtaken by the voice of these demons
You can pretend but you don't understand it
I don't regret i just wish i could vanish
I can’t forget and forgive i am damaged
I lost a whole fucking year to the xannies
Nothing is going the way that i planned it
Nothing is guaranteed on this planet
I kinda preferred when i didn’t have purpose
When will i learn that this
Life isn’t worth it
They all warned us, all the greats
Drugs imported they from interstate
What is this feeling i cannot get rid of it
I tried to switch it up plenty of times
Stuck in the deep caught up
In the abyss of it
I wanna die but im better alive
I wanna cry but im dead in the eyes
Im tryna figure out why but im too high
Running in circles im losing my mind
Im forgetful i sweat like a
Bitch in the night
When will the rain over me ever let up
When does the pain die so i can just get up
Fuck it im outta here next
Year if nothin changes
Im gonna disappear if i don't make it
When i die don't put me in playlists