Kunt And The Gang - Can't Work, Won’t Work lyrics

Karen: You see when I get up in the morning
I send the kids to school
I sit on the toilet and I squeeze out a stool
Then I lay on the sofa and
I switch the telly on
And when Loraine Kelly's finished
Jeremy Kyle comes on

And then I watch Trisha
Then Cash in the Attic
I have Going for Gold on
And I'm a Neighbours fanatic
Then is Diagnosis: Murder and
Murder She Wrote flog It
Deal or No Deal and then the kids are home

So I make some Turkey Twizzlers and
Then stick 'em in a bath
And if they don't eat it up
I'll give 'em all a slap
And 'cause I worked so hard on that
I'll put up me feet
I'll watch Hollyoaks, Emmerdale
Eastenders and Coronation Street

Then I'll put The Bill on and
I might have a little smoke
And watch a Channel 5 documentary
On the world's fattest bloke
I've normally dozed off my then but
If I'm still at the races
I'll have a flick and try and
Find some wild police chases
I sit on my arse all day
I consider it a perk
Of the job of being unemployed
And not going to work

I've never had a job, I've never had a job
'Cause every time I need the dole
I have another knob
The knob supplies the semen and
I have another kid
And then the social gives me money to
Say well done for what I did

Craig:
Yeah, the social gave her money to say
Well done for what she did

K: Can't work, won't work

C: Don't send her to an interview

K: Can't work, won't work

C: She'll fuck it up, that's what she'll do

K&C: Can't work, won't work

K: To tell the truth I'm overjoyed

K&C: Can't work, won't work

K: To live me life as unemployed

Karen: I'd hate to work in a garage
It'll really be the pit's
I wouldn't work in an aviery
It'll bore me off my tit's
I couldn't work at an assault course
It would drive me up the wall
And I wouldn't volunteer for any money
Let alone fuck all

C: She wouldn't work in security

K: It's just too mundane

C: She couldn't work in a mental home

K: It'll drive me insane

C: She wouldn't be a solider

K: Like those pricks Robson and Jerome

C: And she wouldn't work for a charity

K: 'Cause it begins at home

C: She can't stand the sight of kids

K: So I won't work in a school

C: She'd never be a policeman

K: I fucking hate them all

C: She won't work on a sewage plant

K: I couldn't stand the muck

C: And she couldn't work in care

K: 'Cause I really don't give a fuck

C: She couldn't be a bin man

K: I'll just have to refuse

C: She'd never be a model

K: I just can't walk in them shoes

C: She couldn't be a stuntman

K: I just couldn't do the stunts

C: And she wouldn't work for the council

K: They're a bunch of fucking cunts
I sit on my arse all day
Morning and afternoon
The job of being unemployed is
Something of a boom

I've never had a job, I've never had a job
'Cause every time I need the dole
I have another knob
The knob supplies the spunk which
It deposit's up me muff
And I have a kid and the money
Goes up until I have enough

C: yeah she has a kid and the money
Goes up until she's got enough

K&C: Can't work, won't work

K: A job's something for other folk

K&C: Can't work, won't work

K: I can't be arsed to do a stroke

K&C: Can't work, won't work

K: I ain't doing other people's chores

K&C: Can't work, won't work

K: Fuck that shit, I'll stay indoors
Fuck that SHIT I'LL STAY INDOORS!