Kunt And The Gang - God's Stitches lyrics

At this festive time of year
I’d like to raise a glass to the
Big guy who put us here
Cos if the athiests got their wish
They’d have us all believe we
Evolved from monkeys and fish

And when people mention God they say
"you’ve got no proof"
But I’ve discovered something that will
Show them the truth
I didn’t find it in the bible
Or even in a church
I found it in my pants and
I didn’t have to search

I just checked under my knackers
And there they were

God’s stitches, God’s stitches
It’s where he sewed us up
He did a really neat job
God’s stitches, God’s stitches
From the back of your ballbag to
The end of your nob

God’s stitches, God’s stitches
If you ever lose faith and
You start to feel doubt
God’s stitches, God’s stitches
He sewed your sac up to make
Sure your spuds don’t drop out
God’s stitches

Don’t ask me what happened with women’s bit's
Perhaps he ran out of cotton
And that’s how he didn’t stitch up the hole
In a lady’s frontbottom

He took our skin like a sausage machine
Stuffed it full of innards
A liver and a spleen
Put a load of bones in so we could stand
And inserted a heart to pump the blood around

He stuck in some muscles so
We could grow strong
And a brain so we could work
Out what is right and wrong
Then he stuck on a nob and
Knackers so we could squirt cream
And he finished it off with
A neat little seam

Richard Dawkins, look undet your nut sack

God’s stitches, God’s stitches
If you ever needed proof that there was a God
God’s stitches, God’s stitches
From the tip of your bellend to
The back of your pods

God’s stitches, God’s stitches
If you ever lose faith and
You start to feel doubt
God’s stitches, God’s stitches
Drop your drawers and get your
Cock and balls out god’s stitches