Kunt And The Gang - Michael Eavis And His Micro Penis lyrics

The man who founded Glastonbury
Has a beard but no moustache
And I found out something about him
That is pretty harsh
My mate had a piss next to him
And he said "you won't believe us
When I describe to you
The private parts of Michael Eavis"

It's just Michael Eavis and his micro-penis
It's like a normal todger but
One tenth of the size
It's just Michael Eavis and his micro-penis
If you have a piss next to
Him you won't believe your eyes

Michael's minute member
Must be seen to be believed
His cock's so small it's quite a wonder
That his wife conceived
But she fashioned Michael
A latex strap-on prosthesis
Which he used, and it produced
His daughter Emily Eavis

It's just Michael Eavis and his micro-penis
He can't really help it
Nature made him that way
It's just Michael Eavis and his micro-penis
It's less than two centimetres
Much to his dismay

His knob's inversely proportional
To the size of his festival
There's quite a discrepancy
Between his penis and testicles
When it's viewed with naked eye
His cock's hardly detectable
When he dies, Gunther von Hagens
Will find it collectable

It's just Michael Eavis and his micro-penis
Michael Eavis and his micro-penis
It's just Michael Eavis and his micro-penis
Michael Eavis and his micro-penis

It's tiny, it's shiny
It'll fit right up your hiney
It's small, he's tall
It gets dwarfed by his balls
It's minute, it's cute
It's reasonably hirsute
It's petite, it's neat
In his pubes it does retreat

Michael's knob's so small
It made a puddle when he weed with it
The year that he brought Kanye West
Most people disagreed with it
He shaved his pubic hair off
And he tried to weave a tweed from it
He nicked his helmet with the razor
And started to bleed from it

It's just Michael Eavis and his micro-penis
He can't really help it
Jesus made him that way