Kunt And The Gang - Mum's Rubber Glove lyrics

My mum gets eczema on her hands
So she's always making more demands
She’s always angry and she says it grates
That my bedroom's full of dirty plates

So I resolved that I would save her sorrow
By sorting my soiled crockery out tomorrow
But when I got home pissed up from the pub
All my things had been washed up

By mum in rubber gloves, in rubber gloves
All my things had been washed up
By mum in rubber gloves, in rubber gloves
All my things had been washed up
By mum in rubber gloves, in rubber gloves
All my things had been washed up oh oh no

She uses the rubber gloves see
Because the washing up liquid gives her a
Bit of eczema on her hands, dunnit
It's all flaky in between her fingers
The doctor gave her some cream
But it’s still really itchy

So I bought this bird back
And we snuck upstairs
She removed her pants, I saw her pubic hairs
I thought I'm in here but then my heart sank
I'd used my last rubber johnny
For a posh wank

I still managed to get my end away
But something terrible happened the next day
Mum stormed in to the lounge
With the face of doom
She'd put on the Marigold she
Found in my room

And felt a cold squelch

Mum's rubber glove, her rubber glove
All my jizz had been spunked up
In her rubber glove, her rubber glove
All my jizz had been spunked up
In her rubber glove, her rubber glove
All my jizz had been spunked up oh oh no