Kunt And The Gang - Sit Down Wee lyrics

I used to think that I was cool
As cool as Henry Winkler
But then my penis started acting
Like a garden sprinkler
My Mum was sympathetic at first and
Showed a bit of lenience
Until her bathroom started smelling
Like a public convenience

I'd pissed all over the toilet seat
And all over the mat
When I sprayed the knitted dolly on the
Spare bog roll she couldn't handle that
I was suffering from soggy socks
And turn-ups filled with piss
But one day I weed while having a
Poo and I thought "It's easy this"

A sit down wee, a sit down wee
Real men say you should stand up
But I just don't agree
Now my wee is penal, not vaginal
You won't find me at a urinal
A seated leak is my technique
I’ll have a sit down wee

Those who sprinkle when they tinkle -
Sit down and have a wee
Those who dribble after a widdle -
Sit down and have a wee
If you pop your cock between your legs
You'll have no trouble with the dregs
You'll end up doing more number twos
But that comes with the territory

A sit down wee, a sit down wee
If you want your shoes to remain new
Well, then I decree
If it's good enough for Larry David
Then it's good enough for me!
Sitting down's not just for brown
I'll have a sit down wee