Kunt And The Gang - Women Love A Bastard lyrics

When I was a young boy this
Kid Neil he pulled the wings
Off of daddy longlegs
And little flying things
The girls all flocked around him
To see the skill he’d mastered
When I asked him why girls liked him he said
"women love a bastard"

So when I grew up I must
Admit that once or twice
I went out with girlfriends and I
Tried to treat them nice
Every time I did that it
Just ended in disaster
Then I remembered Neil’s advice
That women love a bastard

Bastard bastard, women love a bastard
Bastard bastard, women love a bastard
I quickened up my pelvic thrusts
So I can climax faster
Then I have a fag and fall
Asleep cos women love a bastard

So when I met my current bird
I had to hatch a plan
To attempt to be a bigger bastard of a man
She cooked a meal for Valentines
I tried to play it cool i took one mouthful
Spat it out and threw it up the wall

When she posts a Facebook status
I never once click ‘like’
On that cycle ride for charity I
Pushed her off her bike
I left her in the hospital
With her leg in plaster
While I went round and fucked her mum
Cos women love a bastard

Bastard bastard, women love a bastard
Bastard bastard, women love a bastard
She broke down in church and
Ended up asking the pastor
Why I did it he replied
Cos women love a bastard

I bought her a 99 from that ice cream place
And when she went to take a lick
I smashed it in her face
She’s got a nan with Alzheimers
Who’s not allowed out i left her in her
Underwear on Benfleet roundabout

Then when she did that fun run
To raise money for the hospice i went home
Got her toothbrush and I stuck
It in some dog’s mess
I rinsed it off with water and
Before she went to bed
As she brushed her teeth I texted her
And this is what it said:

Dogshit dogshit
You brushed your teeth with dogshit
Dogshit dogshit
You brushed your teeth with dogshit
I never come straight home from work
I stay out and get plastered
I do it all to turn her on
Cos women love a bastard

I superglued her eyes open and I must concede
I made her watch the sequel
To the human centipede
I took her away from all her friends
And got her hooked on crack
Then I forced her to go on the
Game so she could pay me back

But it all backfired on me
And she walked out today
To go live in a refuge
Where abused women stay
So now I sit outside her
Window with a ghetto blaster
And play Slipknot at 4am cos
Women love a bastard

Bastard bastard, women love a bastard
Bastard bastard, women love a bastard
If you asked me why I did it all
Your query would be answered
I was only trying to make her
Moist cos women love a bastard
I was only trying to make her
Moist cos women love a bastard