Mary Lambert, Macklemore - House of Mirrors lyrics

My brain is a house divided
Rooms with too many doors
I can't tell you why
It's a home without a light

I spent most of my years
Trying to burn the roof
Stop being an arsonist, oh I was
Waiting for the wind

I've seen people do crazy things
I've seen it in myself
But, I'm not going back there
Planning my darkest hour

Yeah i saw God on the sidewalk once
Walking towards me I thought
That I was dreaming
Put my hoody on over my head
Tucked to my neck crossed the street
Pretended I didn't see him

I keep beer close
And I keep love just out of arm's reach
Probably for a reason
Cos if I touch it, and learn it, and study it
I'll know how shallow it really
Is in the deep end

Why do I still wanna swim?
Why can't I surrender to the voices within?
Why can't losing it all in
The wounds from the fall
Be enough to never do it never again?

I forget how bad it is
This fleeting happiness
Self sabotage, another means to balance in
Another Hail Mary to write my way out of hell
But, I don't think that I'm
Ready to fully forgive myself

The truth they admire but, you are a liar
Psychiatrists wanna put my psychopathic
Self on mood stabilisers ruled by desire
The prayer doesn't work if the pew is on fire
Like

I've seen people do crazy things
I've seen it in myself
But, I'm not going back there
Planning my darkest hours

Blocking all the windows
In a house full of mirrors
It's me against me

Blocking all the windows
In a house full of windows
It's me against me

Ah, ah it's me fighting me oh