Nas - The Price i Pay To See My Son" - Open Letter via Instagram lyrics

The Price i Pay To See My Son
And apologies in advance for the typos
As I am speaking from the heart as
A man who has had enough
Today i got a call from
Essence about my ex wife
Doing another sad fictitious story
Nothing surprises me anymore, including this
This is what your life has come to sis?
Exploiting some people’s Real struggle and
Painjust to get at meto
Get attention? Fame? Another fight against
Men? We are a human family and we should be
Better examples for our son
Why is there even a issue for me to
Have time with my son a
Son needs his father so
Many absentee fathers out here and here i am
Being attacked by your accusations simply
Because i got us
In court to help fix this the custody matter?
Why did i have to take you to court to see
Our son? Why when i win the joint custody
(which is a win for both of us and our son
It helps us with both our schedules) why
Do you feel thats an attack on
You? Is it control? Why do you
Need to have control over my
Life? because we’re not together?
Then why? Is
This being rewarded and praised by
People who are being taken advantage of
By you and your lies?
To all separated couples out there who are
Cordial and co parent nicely GOOD FOR
YOU i wish that was me i’m
The most chill cool parent there
Is who has time to argue? About what?
It’s about our little guy you
Haven’t had to deal with what I’ve
Been dealing with trust me
I’m a mild mannered god fearing
Very fair human being who
Tries his hardest to please
Everyone it’s my nature
I’ve seen this too many times before
And there was times i thought
Kelis my ex wife
Was not this type this is the type
Of antics that deceive people
And people mistakenly call
It strong seems I always had more
Belief in you than you do for yourself i
Instilled strength in my daughter
Who you were already so jealous of and
Treated poorly being jealous
& verbally abusive to a Little girl

In life you have to work
Hard to be successful
Not try to tear someone down for that’s
The most coward way women are the
Essence of life i cherish them my strength
Is given to me from my
Mother i am everything she taught me to
Be i was raised in a
Single home by a single woman i
Am a very proud black man
I shouldn’t have ignored the signs from
Your your first song and video
I hate you so much right now
But I thought you was
Beautiful you came into my life at
A time i was grieving
From my moms passing you was
A friend because of that
I wanted to marry you and i
Did and we had a big
Lavish wedding overall there was too
Many good times i have
To say i wasn’t the most faithful
Husband i was immature i’m
Sorry about that but you bumped
Your own head sis
Why do i have to live thru a constant
Divorce? It didn’t work out life goes on
I’m not coming back to you your married and
Im happy for you and I’m a
Extremely happy black brother out
Here trying to make
A difference for my kids and the
Next generation of young people who see me
As huge inspiration in music, art, business
Education and so on
After 10 years of keeping my silence during
A decade of dealing with very hostile
Behavior and verbal abuse and even your
Stepfather holding you back from one
Of your physical violent Attacks on me right
Outside your house THIS YEAR while
Trying to pick up our son while
He watched from the window
It was my weekend and you
Denied me that because your
Parents were in town i just
Went home this has been my life for my son’s
Entire life even our son
Wonders why you treat me the way you do?

There’s some seriously crazy things i won’t
I disclose for our son’s sake
Because you keep my son from me
Ive been going thru lawyers
To stop you from this bullshit
I’m tired of it i’m
Tired of you painting a bad
Picture of me i’ve been
Tired of it but you never seem to get tired
I even had to be in a relationship
With you AGAIN after we separated
Just so i could see my son & I AM JUST TIRED
Back then you asked me why didn’t i
Stop the divorce from happening i tried!
We are too different some things aren’t meant
To be we were meant to
Be so that we could have our son
Nothing more you didn’t like that
I prayed for your peace of mind
For years because of your uneasy
Soul i still do i guess some things
Take time you definitely don’t know me
Now and probably never knew me you
Make up this image of me
That’s not true but it’s funny because it’s
Really you describing yourself you made
Up stories about me and claimed i
Did things that YOU DID
I hate all this, but you
Were a very jealous wife
And i had to deal with that and
That’s the worst feeling how much heat
I had to take from producers, writers
Music attorneys and record execs etc
Who felt your mean spirited wrath
And dropped you from labels
From startrack to them all i stopped
Talking to jungle & steve
Stoute because of you & almost
Lost Anthony because of you

You used to turn my phone off so
My professionals couldn’t reach me and
Take the battery you insulted any and
Everyone whoever was around me
Not a single person in my life
Loved or could even stand you
Luckily for you our assistants all
Signed NDA’s or you would
Have a list of men and women
Who would happily talk about how
Verbally abusive and evil you are your
Self saboteur ways has caused
You your grief your dealing with not
Me the altercations you speak of
Are no more different from what
Most normal couples go thru
But your exaggerated version is
UNJUST whenever one
Is constantly attacked the instinct is
To restrain that person or defend yourself
To prevent escalation in hindsight
Now my advice to young men out there in
A situation like that is to RUN at
The very first sign of verbal abuse or
Physical i herd you said terrible things
About me it makes me feel sad how heartless
You can be you play with strong
Women’s struggles like they mean
Nothing you’re taking
Advantage of a moment in time where
Women who are fighting for their lives to get
Justice and be treated fairly & you
Just looked at it as an opportunity to
Get ahead like abuse is a game?
Like tearing down your son’s father is a game
You have a son! Why are you
Still competing with me by telling him bad
Things about me guess what sis
He has eyes and ears and smart
As ever i don’t have to
Say anything i think he knows
What’s really good you will
NOT stop me from fighting for my
Son you tell him GOD
Doesn’t love his dad because his
Dad doesn’t goto church

Didn’t want to bring up money but
Since that’s the fuel behind
All of this Let me say that I gave you
The tools to be successful after
You was dropped from your
Label i paid for your
Cooking school cordon blue
The expensive yellow stove we had
Flown in from Europe
I helped pay for the remodeling of your house
Your assistant stole thousands from my
Cc according to Amex
Out of all people you should be completely
Understanding of my my grind but
You just can’t win
With you my schedule is CRAZY but you
Never help me see my son i’m hardly allowed
To talk to him on the phone ever
My lawyer told me bring the
Cops to your house
And show my court orders when you don’t let
Me get him or answer your phone but who
Besides you wants to show their kids that
His parents are that out of
Control? I’ve been going
Thru lawyers to stop you from this bullshit
For years i finally got
Our custody together to
Work with both our schedule thru court
While leaving court you tell me
Your gonna get me back
For fighting to see my son and 3 weeks
Later you’re on camera doing an
Interview about "your truth"
Interesting timing do what you
Want just don’t
Violate another court order sis
Because the judge
Won’t like that at all the judge
Already ordered you to pay my legal
Fees because he was tired of
You wasting everyone’s time in
Court no lawyer
Wants to represent you after what
You put them thru that’s why you
Texted me today asking me
For more child support money-and you want to
Keep it out court you will
NOT stop me from fighting for my
Son remember GOD sees all and
I’m no longer allowing you to take advantage
Of the fact that I did
Not want to respond in a manner
That could affect my kids
Friends or family publicly tHAT ENDS TODAY

Everything with her is a plot and a
Scheme has no merit no foundation
I didn’t Wana speak up because i have real
Respect for our women and definitely my
Son i do not beat women i did
Not beat up my ex wife stop
You got beat up in court how much
Money do you want? Do you want
Me to relinquish my rights to see my
Son is that what you want?
Just tell me after all the tweets and posts
You made thru the years disrespecting me
And my family I still have love for
You as the mother of my
Child BUT I am done with this this
Game ends now and GOD will be
The judger of all this and although
You tell everyone GOD hates me
(some Christian you are) I will survive and
Thrive from this moment because I
Know who I am & you have
Not a clue who you are

And to all the fans that knew my
Silence was due to the fact
That I don’t openly do this kind
Of petty shit i appreciate you
Riding and to those that were lead
Down a wrong path i get
It very sensitive times and all things
Must be taken seriously this
Is MY TRUTH and I don’t care what
Else she has left to say
Unless it concerns our son this is
The first and last time
I’m addressing this despite all of this
I still hope for the best
For her because whats best for her
Is what’s best for Knight love
Nasir bin olu dara jones