PhemieC - Friend, Leader. lyrics

There will be no soft sounds
This time, no arms, not mine at least
Should've expected this, I guess
No "shh" can soothe your beast
And it was my problem once
That violence inside your eyes
Bright red and high with death and pie
And rage that never dies

And I used to blame myself
Then I blamed everybody else, but never you
'Cause you were just a messed up kid
Who'd step in it, get scared and sit
And pray for goats and gods who
Would know what to forbid
And when you would reach out
Well I'd run my big mean
Mouth and make it worse
And maybe I deserve that hurt
Destruction of my universe
So if you've gotta beat somebody
Up don't make it her

I'm sorry, I messed up
I'm not a leader anymore
I'm sorry, I messed up, I'm not a leader
Not a leader not a leader, friend

No more attempts to make you
See, I tried, he succeeded, oh well
But what I can say to a girl who'd
Play with a noose of excuses until
Her big wicked grin disappears in the smoke
And crack goes the rope pulled true
I know enough about doubt
And hating myself to
Tell that you now know it too

And I used to blame myself
Then I blamed everybody else, including you
But, you were perfect as you were
All angled out, a blinding blur
So bright and beautiful, and clever
Yeah for sure

But when you would reach out
Well I'd run my big mean
Mouth and make a mess
And now it's my turn to confess
I wasn't there, I didn't guess
That you were slipping
'til you tripped right off the edge

I'm sorry I messed up
I'm not a leader anymore
I'm sorry I messed up, I'm not
A leader, not a leader, not a leader
(I'm not a leader anymore, no more)

Said a thousand words but they never helped
I hid my scars from you out of shame
Took up the cause, yeah I took the helm
But, I'm not the only one who's changed
I knew you first, I knew you best
I wish I'd stopped it way back then
When things were bad
But they still made sense
When we were kids, when we were friends

Friend Leader friend Leader
Friend Leader friend Leader