Polaris - Masochist lyrics

This is a place I know too well
Been down here a while if you can't tell
And I have analysed and tried my
Best to justify
The sorrow I have brought upon myself

Am I addicted to the misery? Is
This how I'll always be?
Grinding the salt into every wound
Am I in love with all my ailments
Glutton for punishment?
You can't trust me to be there for you

I thought I had this
I thought I had this all figured out
You'd think I'd learned from all the
Shit I fucking screamed about
When there was sun
I couldn't see for the clouds
Still climbing the walls of this well
Just to dive back down
Until I reached my rock bottom
Down to the marrow
Bringing up the bad blood I'd forgotten
Is it me that's making me sick?
Been burning both ends of the wick

Am I addicted to the misery? Is
This how I'll always be?
Grinding the salt into every wound
Am I in love with all my ailments
Glutton for punishment?
You can't trust me to be there for you
I've got this cold black silhouette
Hanging like a marionette
Casting a shadow, a shade over me
Just a sick, sad, sorry mess
Living like a masochist
Your worst impressions were right about me
Your worst impressions were right about me
Your worst impressions were right

I could ask you to stay
If you're feeling forgiving
I could live with the guilt
If you call this living
I could try to memorise each grain of sand
As it slips through my fingers
And falls from my hands
It took me longer than I'd care to admit
This life is only what I choose to make of it
And the only thing standing in
Between happiness and myself
Was this depression I held so
Close to my chest

Am I addicted to the misery? Is
This how I'll always be?
Grinding the salt into every wound
Am I in love with all my ailments
Glutton for punishment?
You can't trust me to be there for you
I've got this cold black silhouette
Hanging like a marionette
Casting a shadow, a shade over me
Just a sick, sad, sorry mess
Living like a masochist
Your worst impressions were right about me

Wasting a waning youth
Waiting for something to help me pull through
I never saw the sun through the clouds
I lost faith when the skies were falling down