R.E.M. - The Worst Joke Ever lyrics

You see there's this cat burglar who
Can't see in the dark
He lays his bets on eight more
Lives and walks into a bar
Slips on the eight ball, falls on his knife
Says "I don't know what I've done
But it doesn't feel right"
Some things don't hold up over
The course of a lifetime
When's the first time you heard that one
1954?
Get to the punch line, fall to the floor

Give me a minute and I'll tell you
The setup for the worst joke ever i never
I'll tell you my version of
The greatest life story don't bore me

Now I am floating, I feel released
The moorings have been dropped
The weights unleashed
Everything is crystalline, simple and free
The crime of good men who
Can't wrestle with change
Or are too afraid to face
This life's misjudged unknowns
You're not hurting anybody else's chances
But you're disfiguring your own

Give me a minute and I'll tell you
The setup for the worst joke ever i never
I'll tell you my version of
The greatest life story don't bore me

You see there's this feeling that
I've heard this one before