Richard Cheese - Richard Cheese's New Birthday Song lyrics

Good evening ladies and gentlemen
I'm Richard Cheese, wwwrichardcheesecom
Wwwfacebookcom richardcheese, wwwtwittercom
Richardcheese, and I
Believe wwwiloveeatingpancakesinlasvegascom
Is ours too

You know, the world is a crazy place, and we
Live in troubled times, but
Despite our differences, the one thing that
All of us have in common, is that we all have
A birthday my piano player
Bobby Ricotta over there
He has a birthday frank Feta has a birthday
Billy Bleu has a birthday and so
Do I mine is July 11 feel free
To have your sister send me photos

Anyway, the first thing that comes to mind
When you say birthday is the
Happy Birthday song
Right guys? "Happy Birthday
To -" NO NO NO NO, you can't sing it

See, we can't sing that song on
Our CD because it's copyrighted
And if we use it on
The album, we have to pay a royalty to
The original songwriters who still
Hold the copyright
Mildred J hill and Patty S hill

Now mind you, the "Happy Birthday To You"
Song was written in
The 1800's! That’s TWO centuries ago!
But these two old ladies, who have been
Dead for almost 100 years
Still get paid every time someone uses that
Song, in a movie, in a
TV show, in a commercial
In a greeting card eVERY TIME! CHA-CHING!

That's why, when you go to
A restaurant like Outback
Or Applebee's or Olive Garden
Or Bob Evans, they don't sing you "Happy
Birthday To You, " and instead
They sing some really stupid made-up song
With a bunch of clapping
"Happy Happy Birthday, Happy Happy Birthday!"

It’s terrible! See, THAT song was
Written by corporate attorneys
Just to protect the restaurant chains from
Getting sued by the Hill estate

I mean, have you heard the birthday
Song the lawyers make
Them do at Benihana? They ring a bell
And smack a couple chopsticks
Against a bamboo shoebox
It sounds like two Buddhist temples humping

So, I realized that there
Is a golden opportunity
Here for me, America's
Favorite lounge singer, richard
Cheese, to create a NEW birthday song, and
Give it to the world FOR FREE
So that waiters and waitresses in
Chain restaurants across the land
Can have a GOOD song to
Sing to their customers!

And, so that YOU
The person celebrating his or her
Birthday, can sing a song at your party
And post it on YouTube without
Fear of getting sued-from-the-grave
By those litigious Patty and
Mildred Hill zombie ladies!

Now, of course, if you're a bigshot
Movie director - Zack Snyder
I'm talking to you -
And you want to use my new birthday
Song in your next space owl movie
You're going to need to write
Me a check and hey Google, if you use my
New birthday song on your
Little website puppet show
I will expect a little Google plus
If you know what i mean, and i think you do
Gooj

So, without further adieu, which
Admittedly is French
Here is our all-new original
Birthday song, written by me and my
Piano player Bobby Ricotta! Now
Here's the scene: it's your
Friend Brandy's birthday party
They bring out
The cake, the candles are lit
They shut off the lights, andhit it!
It's Brandy's birthday what a great day
Everyone say happy birthday! Hey!

Isn't that great? Here, let's try it with a
Longer name one more time!
It's Olivia Munn's birthday what a great day
Everyone say happy birthday! Yay! So great

And, you can also change the words to make
It apply to your unique
Situation for example
Let's say it's Elton John's birthday 1-2-3-4
It's Elton’s birthday what a great gay
Everyone say happy Birthday! Ole!
See how that works?

Now, I want you to take our
All-new original birthday song and
Sing it at every birthday party
You go to at school, at the
Office, at church, at the sorority -
M-m-m-m - wherever you are, please
Spread the cheese and teach everyone
You meet my birthday song
Which is entitled "Birthday Song"

And, if you're a restaurant, a
Bar, an Elk's Lodge
Or a Kiddie Petting Zoo that
Imprisons helpless animals in
Cages of soul-crushing despair
Feel free to sing my Birthday
Song for your patrons without
Fear of impunity
Which I believe is also French

Now to make it easier to make the
Party cheesier with my new birthday song
Here's an instrumental version of the music
And you can find
This and the lyrics at my website
Wwwrichardcheesecom

Thanks for listening, thanks for singing
And thanks for making
Me rrrrich eat my dust, Mildred and Patty
You WHORES! I'm Richard Cheese
And I approve this message