Rucka Rucka Ali - History Of Philosophy Rap lyrics

Asians asians
Asians asians
Asians

Were the first to philosophize
Unorganized confused shit
Like Confucious or the fat giggling Buddhist
Who said life is suffering
And through the centuries
Suffering is all Asians did but in Greece

Intellectual chimpanzees were putting
Things in order
Thales put his banana down and
Said everything is water
Which is dumb but to tie it
All together is what he tried
It's not watered it's fire
Said the nigga Heraclitus

And that's the kind of shit
That occupied the Athen nation
Tying everything together
Its called integration

Pythagoras said everything is numbers
And a theorem
But there's more to life than numbers so
No one wanted to hear 'em

Zeno said there's no such thing as change
(He got Rekt) but we know he invented
The debate or dialectic
When there was democracy there was Democritus
He was wrong about some shit
But they still they called him dad of science

Does the end justify the means
Thrasymachus said yeah
But tell that to someone dying
For some else's idea
And that's the fate of Socrates
Convicted for corrupting little boys
And for democracy, he drank fucking poison

The Boys in Socrate's class were
Mostly fake and gay though
But the first to build a
System of philosophy was Plato
He said this world isn't real
But there's a world of forms
Where everything is perfect
He was fucking wrong

But they thought he was right
So his work was taught and saved
Ironically which led the west
Back into a cave
But he paved the way for his student
With the system model
Just the realest nigga ever to exist
Aristotle

He wanted explanation for the
Shit Plato told him and he wrote it all down
Pwn'd Plate like a clown
All the bullshit Plato said stotle asked how
His metaphysics still hurts plato's ass now

Aristotle wasn't perfect but he gave
Us laws of logic
Which gave us shit like Playstation
1's and Apple Watches all the cool shit you
Got thank Aristotle's mother
Which is more than anybody did back
When the words were uttered

Nobody gave a fuck
Yeah fuck what he was saying
They was busy eating gyros
Wrestling naked being gay

Like Epicurus told 'em Avoid all pain
The Stoics were like Nah to
Much pleasure is vain
They said be serious focus
On what you're doing
But they also pushed away
The happines worth pursuing

And the skeptics ancient neck beard MGTOW'S
They said you can't know shit
Wrong then gay now

As time passed Plato's influence increased
Philo brought him to the jews
Enter Christianity
Augustine cemented Plato to the
West in written pages
Placing faith over reason bringing
In the dark ages

And poor Aristotle dismissed in his day
No one gave a fuck about his
Jam and it was cast away
And his fuckin name forgotten by a
World that shit on him
Until he was discovered by, a Muslim

Al-Ma'mun translated him from Greek
And began a golden era when
Religion let you think
But reason was rejected by
This guy Al-Ghazali
Which is probably why today Islam
Is not to fucking jolly

He decided tryna mix faith
And reason was retarded
So he threw the precious work
Of Aristotle in the garbage
The enlightenment of the Arabs
Was over and Departed
But in Europe Tom Aquinas was
Like I'm just getting started

He learned of Aristotle from
This Jewish guy Maimonides
And he got it from a Mooslam Averroes
If ever these three religions
Found common ground
It's in placing reason over faith
Living hear and now

The sound of reason cut the
Silence of the Middle Ages
As pages filled with logic
Scrutinizing God himself
And the changes made some clergy nervous
But it was too late
Because the dumbest shit they ever did
Was the let the artist paint

Human beauty was depicted love
And sex celebrated
Life on Earth is the standard
Heaven could wait and Shit
And though Christ was the one being painted
Religion didn't know it was
Being de-fanged and shit

That was the Renaissance then
Came the Enlightenment
The other Greek philosophers were
Studied with excitement
Now the truth could be discovered by
No other means than reason
But then shit got more divided than
The South and North Koreans

A group of new philosophers one
Of whom was Locke
Said you can't trust your mind but
Your senses and your cock
Know reality so don't thank too
Much you little bitch
The philosophers who said this
Are called empiricists

On the other side of this
Dichotomy of mind and body
Descartes and all his Niggas said
Your senses could be naughty
You could only trust your mind to
Know what is and isn't
This school of philosophy is rationalism

That's when philosophy became a shit storm
Scientists no longer thought philosophy
Was for 'em it didn't help philosophy to
Spare it'self the damage
When Rousseau was talking bout how
True nobility is savage

Philosophers of body vs philosophers of mind
All misguided but the truth is that
The truth they tried to find
See they all respected reason they
Each wanted to have it
But then Kant said reason, reason is a faggot

He modernized Plato's world of
Forms from before
Causing reason and reality it's'self
To go to war
He tried to fix the mind and body
Split but only made it bigger
Cuz reality requires you to reason my nigga

Now that reality and reason were divorced
Everone had to pick one at fuck whatever cost
Trying to understand the world
Became a fucking headache
Hegel said reality and logic are synthetic

Marx pushed reason even farther away
In fact, he said reality depends on how
Close you're to a factory
If philosophy ended the Age of darkness
It was now layin the
Blueprints for retarded shit

Nietzsche loved power and strength
But it's not reaching or a
Strength saying he inspired nazis
Superman's something that Nietzsche gave us
But too bad he saw people
As masters and slaves

Who were free now in America
Land of Thomas pain
Who brought over the Enlightenment
From Europe he explained
The right of man is to be
Free because thats his fucking nature
When the Germans came no one
Saw the fucking danger

Royce and his boys turned to
Hegel for the basics
Dewey said your mind doesn't learn
Shit it creates it
Students went to Germany brought shit
Back and spread it
Which is why today's smartest post
Retarded shit on Reddit

No reason to reason now that
Nothing could be known
Pragmatism said take action and
Follow your emotions
Kids trained to have coherence
Of a mental patient
This was the birth of progressive education

Integration no longer required
Postmodernism said that your
Mind could retire
Religion made a comeback tribalism too
Cuz without reason there's just
Feelings and the group

Without philosophy scientists
Can't resist oriental mystics
Claiming their shit is legit
Recycled anti rationals repeating
The same motions alleged men of science
Invoking their emotions

John Rawls said we all should be
The same Social Justice is morality
Philosophy became a game of bullshit and
Semantics that no one understands
And nobody gives a fuck about
Except for Ayn Rand

The last of the Enlightenment she tied mind
And body and reality to reason
Which is great except nobody intellectual
Would give a fuck professors wouldn't budge
They must have their reasons
But history will judge