Skillz - Pastor Skillz lyrics

"And we'd like to thank our
Junior ushers for doing
Such a wonderful job
Look at 'em pastor Skillz's
Last sermon with us today but
It's not a sad time
It's a wonderful and joyous occassion pastor
Skillz's last sermon pastor Skillz"

Before our presentation
I'd like to thank the
Members of the congregation
For being patient
This morning I got a lil' somethin' to say
How many of y'all woke up and didn't
Even feel like comin' down here?
Well, Brother James, it's a shame
I know you're sitting there
And all you're worried about
Is your football game well, me and the Lord
We worry about some things
Like you in the parking lot
Smoking on your rock cocaine
(Say what?) Man, everybody know it
And if your mom can't
Read the announcements faster
I'mma hafta let her go
And Sister Alice, you late
Cause don't think I don't see you
Stealin' out my collection plate
Y'all don't hear me cause if you did
You'd pray I told you
Cause if you do it in the dark
It's gonna come to the day
And Brother Todd, I know that times is hard
Ask the church for help
You ain't gotta steal money from your job
You can't cheat, cause the man up above
Ain't no sense stealing if ya' gonna
Blow it at strip clubs an' Sister Keisha
Don't look in his direction
He wouldn't be at your strip club if
His wife gave him some affection
The choir need to sing a song for y'all
This morning I need to know
What is wrong with y'all
Satan's swinging his swords again
Sister Kim keyed up the door to my Benz
Now the teacher said I got to reach you
Somebody said "Pastor, teach" so I'm preach
That's what I came to do
And Lord knows, Sister Williams
We all need to pray for you
You can't do this, I knew you was ghetto
If backsliding was a sport
You'd have a gold medal
The dinners you sold last week was cold
And the fish you fried was two weeks old
I know you did it, so go on and admit it
Half the choir ain't here
Cause they home sick
Y'all my people, but I know ya' well
We in some troubling times
It ain't hard to tell
But some a' y'all are goin' to hell
If you keep leaving Bible study
To watch Dave Chappelle
Lord knows I love ya' brothers deep
But don't sit in the pew
If you been smokin' weed
I know you're saying "Pastor, "
But Lord, I'mma tell it like it GI is
And Sister Gladys, ya' need to repent
Cause when I call your house, I hear 50 Cent
This house is in a mess
We got some problems in here
That we need to address
And the ushers I shouldn't have to mention
You so busy dancing to Usher to pay attention
And Brother Wayne, you can't take the sound
You bootleggin' services and
Sellin' 'em downtown what am I gonna do?
I can lead you to the door
I can't take you through
Now bear with me, it's almost over
I gotta speak on it, y'all
And get the dirt off my shoulder
I'm a city, so you gotta get it clear
Deacon Smith's been having affair
For twenty-two years
Some a' y'all is doin' wrong
But, I'm gonna go on
I told ya' I wasn't gonna hold ya' long
Now I ain't got much more to say
Me and Tony goin' to Shaunie's
We gonna miss the buffet