Slaughterhouse, Novel - Raindrops lyrics

Tear drops in the pillow of my bed
Still trying to keep my head up
Know you'd rather see me dead
And the raindrops keep on falling
I said they keep on falling
And they keep on falling
I said they keep on falling

I'm the product of when a
Nigga Momma gives up
Crying, laying in the trash with the lid shut
Ain't got no family my mind is tender my
Daddy's invisible my Moms is Brenda, uh
If I survive I'ma grow into what
Society considers trash the rope is to us
That means I'm hanging myself by living
The noose is getting murdered
That or going to prison
My minds controlled 'fore I
Learned mind control
What you call living life I call dying slow
I'm genetically predisposed
The reaper the only thing that can
Ease my soul freezing cold
Feeling like I was given life and if
I take it at least I chose
I'll probably be in heaven
When the pain stops
'Till then all I'm hearing is
Wind and rain drops

Tear drops in the pillow of my bed
Still trying to keep my head up
Know you'd rather see me dead
And the raindrops keep on falling
I said they keep on falling
And they keep on falling
I said they keep on falling

(Cause this is my pain)
Dear auntie I still feel your timeless sorrow
Before you died it's like your
Body was mine to borrow
Like I jumped in your physical shell
While you was going through miserable hell
Saying goodbye to tomorrow, everyday it
Makes me sad, angry, mad
How you were sent to Heaven's sacred path
Duct taped and gagged plus raped and stabbed
Body draped in blood what a fate to have
Such a pitiful end I'm popping
Ritalin like they skittles cause
When I sleep I can feel it again
And again and again it's difficult
Killing is the wickedest biblical sin
I'm talking about momma's identical twin
I see your face when I look at her
Her reminder of how I've been in the cold
Since 14 years old (swear to God)
I'll probably be in heaven
When the pain stops
'Till then all I'm hearing
Is wind and raindrops
(Rest in peace, Chacha)

Tear drops in the pillow of my bed
Still trying to keep my head up
Know you'd rather see me dead
And the raindrops keep on falling
I said they keep on falling
And they keep on falling
I said they keep on falling

Nah I ain't move bricks on the Peter Pan
No father around to teach me how to be a man
We was too high didn't know
When we would land
Sprinkling coke on the weed so
Niggas didn't see a plant
Alcoholic's child, raised off of sugar water
Hid it so you would just thought bout
How good he was brought up
Coulda woulda oughta one track mind
They say man of many hats buys
A hooker for a quarter
And now I'm writing a book
And the hoods the author
Called the "Obvious Poker Face
The Look of Torture"
Teach you how to climb your
Way out that ditch then
Me all I need is this pen and thick skin
Being so bright could mean you lit then
Cause you start trying to
Figure out a figment
I'll probably be in heaven
When the pain stops
'Til then all I hear is wind and rain drops

Tear drops in the pillow of my bed
Still trying to keep my head up
Know you'd rather see me dead
And the raindrops keep on falling
I said they keep on falling
And they keep on falling
I said they keep on falling

(Check it out)
I'm still waiting on my dad to get back
He went to the store in '84 and
I ain't seen him after that
Another single mom public assisted
The rent wasn't consistent
So they had us back and forth to
Court in the months of the blizzard
(Freezing)
My sneakers leaned the rubber was missing
No one on ones they always jumped me no
Brothers and sisters to hold me down
Along with headphones plugged into a
Cheap Walkman that ate tapes
Gun shots and me sleep walking I hate weights
A whole lot of crying police
Chalking that fate tape
Ambulance never on time they like a day late
My cousin ain't had to vacate my
Best friend since age eight
Sometimes I can't hold them I kid you not
Eyes get swollen holding on that tissue box
Somebody get a mop
I'll probably be in heaven
When the pain stops
'Till then all I'm hearing
Is wind and raindrops

Tear drops in the pillow of my bed
Still trying to keep my head up
Know you'd rather see me dead
And the raindrops keep on falling
I said they keep on falling
And they keep on falling
I said they keep on falling