Stephin Merritt, January LaVoy, Francis Jue - Theatre Is Fun lyrics

Theatre is fun! There's a role for everyone
You simply stand upon a stage
And that is Art
Deliver one line, and it's a "part"
And if you don't know your line by heart?
Read your sleeve!

Theatre is grand!
You've got the world at your command

You simply say

"I'm in Hawaii"

And you're there

You can be Antigone

Or Cher

Mention that you are a trillionaire

And you are!

It's the only way to find a lover

Sure beats hanging out in discotheques

When your perfect lover you discover

You need only change your wig

To change your sex

Whee, theatre is fun!
Why learn to play accordion
When you can play a virtuoso on the stage?
You can be a Queen, of any age
You can be a bum, and make a wage!
Of some sort