Philip Labes - Reasons to Never Date Again lyrics

I just went out on a date that
Turned out not to be a date
Just a solo dinner where
You're increasingly late
I call you and you say you wrote
A text you forgot to send
I just smile and say goodnight and
Swear I'll never date again

Picking clothes is such a chore
I never know what I should wear
Am I too assertive if I
Wear that special underwear?
I clean my room and water my plants
In case you come over and then
I come home drunk and alone and
Swear I'll never date again

I thought that modern dating would
Get easier with time
I'd have good communication and not
Have to read your mind
I think that even Sisyphus would
Hate this uphill climb
And I'm not sure that Tinder is
What Darwin had in mind

Message in your inbox with the same
Joke I've told a million times
Timing out my texts to match the
Tempo of your last reply
I could play these games or skip
The middleman and sodomize my brain
At least my mind is getting some
More reasons to never date again

Making plans for ten days time I
Know that she will never keep
Someone's mom just got to town
Someone's cat got put to sleep
We'll make plans when they get back
But never mentions where or when
I've diagnosed another ghost and reason
To never date again

I thought that modern dating would
Get easier with time
I'd have good communication and not
Have to read your mind
I think that even Sisyphus would
Hate this uphill climb
And I'm not sure that Tinder is
What Darwin had in mind

Everything's so casual
Everything's so cool
Don't let someone close enough to
Push you in the pool
Well, I want someone to ruin my life
I want to fall in love again
But instead you only ruined my night
With reasons to never date again