Psapp - Dad's Breakdown lyrics

I once wrote the reasons for
Having the nervous breakdown
I was proposing to indulge in in one column
The reasons for not having one were to go
In the opposite column the reasons for having
The breakdown were difficult to establish
One of them was:
The woman I think I'm in love with
-though I wasn't entirely sure that I was had
Just told me she is a lesbian
And she has fallen in love with her woman
Psychiatrist you may well laugh i certainly
Did when I wrote it down in my
Portentous breakdown column i felt better

The young woman in question then went
On to have affairs with
Gay men i put it all down to her father
Who is a retired naval commander who
Invested his money in footling
Projects like selling
Clip-on car boots which only fitted
One model of Rover, which was then
Withdrawn then there was her brother
Who had acquired so few life
Skills that he could
Only sell the Encyclopedia Britannica
To the intellectually challenged

The right column set reasons
For falling about laughing
As one way of seeing the world
At least in one-point perspective

As for shades of grey? Well, I
Like grey it's a friendly, comforting colour
And, it was good enough for Giacometti
I went into Richmond today
And everything looked delightfully grey
And muted grey
Faces smiled at me through the traffic
Fumes "I wouldn't swap this paradise
For the Bahamas on
A balmy day, " I said to Ted Evans
Our security
Officer, a former police officer
And ex-police marksman, who had
Taken me to Habitat to
Collect the new, neutral
Good taste light fittings I had chosen for
The hallways in King George Square

What do you think?