Zevia - ​if depression gets the best of me lyrics

Empty and numb
Still can't get past all the sadness
And the crumbs I left
Help me, I'm scared
'Cause the one thing
On my mind is for me to disappear

So, mama, when I die
Please hold in your cry
Just know that when I'm gone
I'll always be right by your side
And, lover, when I leave
I know that we don't speak
I'm sorry that I failed you
But you meant the world to me

I lost my sight
I still can't see all the places
Where there might be light
I used to stare
At the mirror
Now I don't 'cause
When I do I see a ghost

It's not my fault that you feel like
I'm so self-centered
I'm tryna be better
But I feel under the weather

So, mama, when I die
Please hold in your cry
Just know that when I'm gone
I'll always be right by your side
And, lover, when I leave
I know that we don't speak
I'm sorry that I failed you
You deserve better than me

(So, mama, when I die)
"Hi mom, it's me"
(Please hold in your cry)
"I just wanted to call and say I love you"
(Just know that when I'm gone)
"And I know that that's random"
(I'll always be right by your side)
"But I feel like I don't say it enough
So here I am"
(And, lover, when I leave)
"And I hope you are okay"
(I know that we don't speak)
"Um, yeah, I love you, mom"
(I'm sorry that I failed you)
"Okay, bye-bye"
(You deserve better than me)