A-F-R-O - Straight Suicidal lyrics

I just wanna die, so I can hold nobody back
I wanna kill myself 'cause
None of ya'll understand
Death is the only thing I
Still feel 'til this day
Why should a quiet child
In mild denial be this way?
I should put the Wesson to my head
And send myself straight to Heaven
So my mother doesn't worry about my presence
Anymore, I wanna learn my own lesson
Suicide's the best choice
Blessed with poison
Point me at death
Disappointed in me, yes
Left alone by all sides
I wonder
If I should give up this life of my mine
Nothin' but hurt and pain combined
I wish my time can run out
I wish somebody can finally can
Manage to gun me down
Stress-free, everybody agree that
I'm worthless
I deserve to be reserved in a grave
And served to
Death on a silver platter
So the barrel stands still
Against my temple, death monumental
In my plan
For real
Those that struck my core and left
My heart broken hate me
And that's more than half the
People that I know daily
I'm meaningless
I can't wait 'til the bullet passes
Flashes of my body draped
On the fuckin' pavement
Throw a parade when I hang myself
Laugh and crack jokes
So all your folks look past my struggle
Final thoughts runnin' through my mind
As I'm cryin' tears
I cower out with suicide so I
Can run away from fear
The damage that I've managed to have inside
Relies
In the hands of the nigga who takes my life
I'm tired and sick of
It, mind is ridiculous
Sickenin'
Wishin' for somebody to kill me
With a blunt object
Or any choice of weapon, rejoice my death
Not my livin'
Everybody's better off with me
In my opinion
Just another nigga dead by his own gun
It's the thought of everybody not
Givin' a fuck about him
I don't want nobody mourning at my funeral
Everybody close to me can go and show kudos
To God himself
For letting me leave Earth early
I don't wanna be a burden
Or a fuckin' people person
I wanna tell him why I can't stand my life
All the hurt I received and
Achieved in my time
The so-called gifted vision everybody visit's
Is not my kinda thing
I wanna walk toward the white lighting
Dead in the dirt, or the ash in the urn
I don't wanna anybody lookin' up
To me as worthy
I wanna leave this place
Complete my mean mistakes and forget them
All this family
Rules and girlfriends'll cause whirlwinds
Depression
I'm edgin' to get a knife from the kitchen
And stitchin' my skin with it 'til
The vision in my eye leaves
I wanna meet God and sob on his shoulder
Say that I couldn't make it, and failed him
Impatient quota
Say I was strained in my bane
And couldn't take it seriously
I might just run in front of a truck
And get stuck
Or maybe a knife to the wrist
Fixed by my own touch
I close my eye-lids
As I pile in visions of murder
My body on the concrete
Blood flooded all over
And you know, I'm alone with my own thought
I'll always have that feeling
Of being simply distraught
I'm suicidal