ABC - Valentine's Day lyrics

When the postman don't call
On Valentine's Day
And Santa Claus don't come on a Christmas Day
That umbrella won't work on a rainy day
Don't ask me, I already know

When they find you beached
On the barrier reef
And the only pleasure treasured
Is in map relief
The choice is yours, sure, saint or thief
Don't ask me, I already know

Yes, they baked your cake in little slices
Kept your eyes on rising prices
Wound up winning booby prizes
I'm sure you'd like to think
You know what life is
Find destiny through magazines
Liplicking, unzipping, Harpers and Queens
From here to eternity without in betweens
Ask me, I already know

With your heart on parade and
Your heart on parole
I hope you find a sucker
To buy that mink stole
School for scandal, guess who's enrolled
So ask me, I already know

When they find you beached
On the barrier reef
When the postman don't call
On Valentine's Day
When the only pleasure treasured
Is in map relief
When you don't tell the truth
That's the price you pay

When I'm shaking a hand, I'm clenching a fist
If you gave me a pound
For the moments I missed
And I got dancing lessons for all
The lips I shoulda kissed
I'd be a millionaire, I'd be a Fred Astaire