Andrea Gibson - The Day You Died Because You Wanted To lyrics

In something like our mothers we grew
'til red was again the color of the water
And pain wasn’t something anything any
Of us would point to because it was what was
And morning came
Not knowing if it would come again
And love was the only thing assumed
And "love should have been enough"
Someone without a heart might say

The day you died because you wanted to
I tied my wisdom tooth to a
Doorknob and pulled it loose
Take everything I think I know
Every answer is a grave
Now the questions are the rain I walk through
To find my way to god
And my only god is faith
That there is comfort here
That who is hurting might hurt
Less than they did before
What else are all these coins
And all these wells for
If not to wish the grief asleep in
The lap of someone’s else’s grief
’til grief comes
Not knowing if it will come again

Your sister thought the hearse
Was a limousine
'til she asked where it was going
And then she knew for sure
That’s what a word like heaven will do
But heaven wasn’t what you were aiming for
You didn’t think the other
Side would be better
You thought the other side would
Be nothing at all
Imagine choosing nothing at all
Imagine something hurting that bad

I didn’t still have the ring you’d given me
I'd crushed it with a rock to
See how much you loved me
I love you to pieces too
It me hurts in my head now
How you knew the water wasn’t
Deep enough to dive into
But, I won’t let anyone say it
Was a shallow thing you did
I knew it was your entire
Body finally pointing, saying
"Here, here is where the pain is"
I can crush a can with the heal of my shoe
I can drive by your mother’s
House if I want to, but I don’t want to
She was there when you bought the ring
She knew how long you’d been saving
Me– I didn’t save anything
But, you don’t lose a person
Like a set of keys
'cause you don’t find them again
And you can still get to where you’re going
Resilience it'self is an awful
Thing to grieve
Who with heart can stomach how
Much we can stomach?
All your blood in the water and
I could still wade through and I will again
And I will again
And I will again with everyone I loose

So what I want most
Is to live the rest of my life
Desperately wanting to live it
I want to give that to you
I want it to find you in the nothing at all
And I want to be something when I say
"I want to make something of my life"
That’s what I mean