Barenaked Ladies - Careless lyrics

I guess I lied to you when
I told you I like baseball
It's not so much the game I like
It's the hats
See this black band 'round my neck?
(It's nice) it's not just fashion
Hartz made it to protect
Me from ticks, fleas, and gnats

I couldn't care less
What's in a chocolate mousse
I couldn't care less
What are the five fruit's in Five Alive juice
I couldn't care less
How old are Ernie and Bert
I couldn't care less
What's under kd lang's skirt

Shaggy said to Velma, "Hey now, Velma
How ya doin'?"
And Velma said, "Jinkies, Shag
I'm just fine"
Then Daphne said to Fred, "Hey
Let's get drunk down in the forest"
And all night Fred was yackin' up red wine

I couldn't care less, why was Fonzie cool
I couldn't care less
Are the Sweathogs still in school
I couldn't care less
How do they fill the Caramilk bar
I couldn't care less, if my car says
"The door is ajar"

I couldn't care less
What's in a chocolate mousse
I couldn't care less
What are the five fruit's in five-alive juice
I couldn't care less
How old are Ernie and Bert
I couldn't care less
What's under kd lang's skirt

I wish I had a
Nickname like "Crusher", "Snake"
Or "Kenneth"
'Cause guys with nicknames always
Get the gals when I grow up I'll name
My children Alice, Albert, and Alfred
I'll call them for supper
Like this: "Dinner's ready, als!"

I couldn't care less, what Morton Downey says
I couldn't care less
What's on the head of my Pez
I couldn't care less
Do zoodles need a trained zookeeper
I couldn't care less
Why's the Super Big Gulp cheaper
(No, really, that's ridiculous)

I couldn't care less
What's in a chocolate mousse
(It's ground-up antlers)
I couldn't care less
What are the five fruit's in Five Alive juice
(Apples, cheese, broccoli)
I couldn't care less
How old are Ernie and Bert?
(Well, they're either forty or four)
I couldn't care less
What's under kd lang's skirt (I don't know)
I couldn't care less, why was Fonzie cool
(Hey) i couldn't care less
Are the Sweathogs still in school
I couldn't care less (I couldn't care less)