Barenaked Ladies - Couldn't Care Less lyrics

I guess I lied to you when
I told you I like baseball
It's not so much the game
I like it's the hats
See this white band around
My neck? It's nice! It's not just fashion
Hartz made it to protect me
From ticks fleas and gnats

I couldn't care less what's
In a chocolate mousse
I couldn't care less what are the
Five fruit's in five alive juice
I couldn't care less how old
Are Ernie and Bert
I couldn't care less what's
Under KD Lang's skirt

Shaggy said to Velma
"Hey now Velma how you doing?"
And Velma said "Jinkies Shag I'm just fine"
Then Daphne said to Fred "Hey let's
Get drunk down in the forest"
And all night Fred was yakking up red wine

I couldn't care less why was Fonzie cool
I couldn't care less how sweat
Hogs do in school
I couldn't care less how do
They fill the Caramilk bar
I couldn't care less my car says "the door
Is ajar"

I couldn't care less what's
In a chocolate mousse
I couldn't care less what are the
Five fruit's in five alive juice
I couldn't care less how old
Are Ernie and Bert
I couldn't care less what's
Under KD Lang's skirt

I wish I had a nickname like Crusher
Snake or Kenneth
Cause guys with nicknames always get the gals
When I grow up I'll name my
Children Alice Albert and Alfred
I'll call them for supper
Like this, "Dinner's ready, al!"

I couldn't care less what Morton Downey says
I couldn't care less what's on
The head of my Pez
I couldn't care less do Zoodles
Need a trained zookeeper?
I couldn't care less why's the
Super Big Gulp cheaper
No really, that's ridiculous

I couldn't care less what's
In a chocolate mousse it's ground up antlers
I couldn't care less what are the
Five fruit's in five alive juice
Apples, cheese, broccoli
I couldn't care less how old
Are Ernie and Bert
Their like fourty or something
I couldn't care less what's
Under KD Lang's skirt