Blink-182 - Words of Wisdom lyrics

Tom: I'm gonna come back and
I'm gonna start -I'm
Gonna start a therapeutic massage
Center only for, for -
Mark: I'm going to start
My own nudist colony!
Tom: That would be gross
You tried that in our bus one time
Mark: I tried to start our own
Nudist colony one time in our
Bus and it was pretty much
Just me hanging out naked

Mark: They love you Tom
Tom: They love me, so fuck everybody else!
Mark: yeah
Fuck all you guys out there that are
Cheering, "we hate you Tom, you suck dick
Burn in hell"
Tom: yeah, fuck that hey -Hey I say
I say fuck the hating Tom-thing
That's what I say are we ready Mark?
Mark: You know what it is
You know what it is? A lot of
These people are just now jumping
On the we hate Tom bandwagon
I've been hating Tom since like 1995 i'm old
School hating Tom-guy, alright
Tom: yeah!

Tom: Oh shit, hey let's all
Say some dirty words
Everyone say "fuck!", everyone say
"shit!", everyone say "dick!"
Everyone say "Mark's an asshole!"
Mark: Everyone say
Everyone say "we hate Mark!" yeah!
Tom: Hey, now let's do this one
Everyone say "fuck fuck shit fuck!"
That's the kind of words you
Should be using at home, kids
Mark: That's right tom: What do we do now?
Mark: I want everyone to call
Me an asshole again!

Tom: What's up? I like your hair
It's very nice
Mark: You like his hair? Oh cool, thanks
He probably appreciates that a lot
Tom: No I just -I wanted to say I liked
Your butt, but I thought
That was too forward, you know

Mark: Hey, this next song is for all
The ladies in the hezeouse
Yeah it's for all the
Ladies in the heaeaouzeouse tom: Hey Mark
Tom: Mark! Mark: What?
Tom: Shut the fuck up!
Mark: It's for all the
Ladies in the houaeoazeiouse

Mark: Wee! Hey, you know what, hang on
I wanna make this like a big golf -
Tom: (burp) Excuse me! Mark: Excuse Tom
Tom: Sorry mark: I wanna make this like a
Big golf tournament, everyone shut up
Everybody just clap like it's
A golf tournament
Tom: That's what it sounds like when
I get done having sex, 15
000 people cheering me on i could
Take all of you in
My bed right fucking now! But
You're not invited Mark

Tom: You have got giant boobs
And I doubt you're eighteen
Do you have a note from your
Mom? I wanna meet your mom mark: Hey
Put those thirteen year old boobs away! If
I wanted to see thirteen year old boobs
I'd hang out by the junior
High like my dad does

Tom: Hey
You know what I learned in fifth grade?
Mark: What's that
Your dad has a bent wiener?
Tom: My dad's wiener was bigger than
Mine then and still is mark: Still is

Mark: I want everyone here to scream, "fuck
You Tom, we fucking hate you
You're going to burn in hell
And die a horrible fiery
Death 'cause we think you're a
Stupid piece of shit!" tom: I heard that!
Mark: Thanks

Tom: You wanna give me your
Shirt? This smells like blood
And feces dinner time! Okay what
Does this say here?
Mark: It smells like blood and feces
So it's your dad's shirt?

Tom: Hey uh, just like every other band we
Believe in a safe form of sex
Don't we Mark? That we do so Mark will
Tell you about how safe we are
Mark: Let me tell you about
The safest form of sex
It's when you get super drunk and you
Have sex with like ten
People totally unprotected and
You do intravenous drugs at the same time
No it's not true
Tom: It's not true, you gotta carry a weapon
Mark: It's not, it's not true

Tom: How many of you guys have
Girlfriends and how many of
You girlfriends have guyfriends? I hope
You're not having sex
Mark: And more importantly how many
Of you girlfriends have girlfriends?
Tom: 'Cause we believe in the love
That exists between two vaginas
Mark: The most special kind of
Love of all is the
Love that exists between two naked
Women while I watch

Tom: We need her to put her shirt back on
Mark: Please
Tom: It just took away my boner
My boner just died i had one
And now it's gone hey Mark
Mark: Please I saw your boobs
And my wiener ran away

Mark: Hey! Hey, hang on hang on everyone
Everyone seriously I need your attention
For just a second
Please, I think somebody lost
The contact down here
So everyone look around a contact lens
Hey someone lost a contact lens so k -
Tom: I lost my virginity!
Mark: Keep an eye out for it!
Tom: I lost a testicle
Hey what if testicles were things
You could lose on an everyday
Basis? That would suck
You've only got three

Tom: Hey, I gotta go pee-pee
Mark: Do you wanna go pee and I'll
Talk to the kids for a second?
Tom: Do you think you can
Talk for enough time? Mark: No, uh
Tom: Why don't you gather your thoughts -
Mark: Why don't you just wet your
Pants and we'll call it even?
Tom: Should I just piss in my pants
Right here? If you guys all
Each pitch in a dollar each I'll
Piss my pants right here now
That should bring me about
Two hundred bucks maybe
Mark: I'll give you three hundred dollars
To piss your pants right now
Tom: I'll give you four hundred
Bucks to eat my shit! Mark: Sold!
Tom: Sold!

Tom: Apparently there's a kid that's
Hurt right now and
I think they're helping him out right now
It looks like they're right there
Mark: Make a hole people, make a hole
Tom: All you people over there make way for
The hurt kid and bring me their wallet

Mark: I wish now, you know
Let me tell you guys something -
Tom: I'm gay!
Mark: There's thousands and thousands
Of people here today
There's like semis and fucking
Buses and multiple
Bands and all kinds of shit, I wish now
I would have taken bass lessons, sorry
Sorry tom: So do I, I wish you did too
Mark: I'm thinking for Christmas next year
I'm gonna ask for lessons

Tom: I know a guy
He has sex with his sister
He used his dick to pop her
Four foot blister
And I know it's not that cool
He fucked her in my swimming pool
He's got three testicles
And he- he loves to do shit

Tom: Fuck yeah! Hey
How come every time we say a joke it has
To be about fucking
Sex, masturbation, incest
Or anything gross like that, you know?
Mark: Is there anything else in the world?
Tom: There's nothing else to talk about

Mark: Hey, can you help that
Little girl out of there
She's like not having so much fun right now
Hey tom: Uh excuse me, security guard sir
Mark: The one right in front of you, here
Tom: yeah that girl right there
Needs to come out if
You're a small person the front
Is not the best view, and if you hate seeing
Shitty bands any of this is not a good
View, this whole everything, everything here

Tom: Mark's middle name is uh, Rebecca
They thought he was a -
Mark: That's right, my name, my middle name's
Rebecca because my dad wanted a girl
He treats me like one

Tom: I still have to go pee
And I'm holding it in still
I'll piss my pants though for money i'll
Eat a nugget of my own
Poop for twenty bucks i'll pay you
Twenty bucks and I'll eat it

Mark: You shave your ass!
Tom: You have hair on nothing but your balls!
You got -Mark has no hair on
His whole body but a
Fucking wolverine growing
In his pants, I swear to God
It's got teeth and shit mark: It's true
Tom: He's got a scary looking penis
Mark: It's true, I need your tax deductible
Donations for the "Shave Mark Balls" program
Please tom: It's for charity, kids
Mark: Send what you can, donate your time
Tom: You guys think that we're
Touring for our own, no
This is a -this is a
Charity tour for Mark's balls
Mark: We're trying to raise enough
Money to shave my nuts
Please give generously
Tom: There's no metal strong
Enough to beat the
Teeth on any kind of electric shaver

Tom: What do we do now
Oh I need a new guitar
Mark: We need a new guitar
We need a new guitarist
Anyone out there know how to play guitar? Oh
That guy does right there
Tom: Does anybody know how to
Play guitar 'cause I'm
Not very good! People don't
Really respect me!

Mark: If I were a girl, every
Time I went to the gynecologist
I'd fake an orgasm!

Tom: Bad kids! Mark: Bad Christmas spirit!
Tom: Bad Christmas spirit!
Mark: Hey! Okay I need light now
Tom: We're going to point out every
Single person that didn't sing
Mark: Santa Claus is going to come to your
House and shit under all your trees!
Tom: Santa Claus is gonna
Come rape your dogs!

Tom: Oh God
You know what? I'm kind of ashamed of
Being myself today, and yesterday and
The day before that
Not really proud of who I am or how I
Look everyone has to have one of
Those days where you, like, start to not
Even really like what you're
Wearing, you know
Don't like how your hair looks
And kind of bummed about how your penis
Is so small and bent and weird

Tom: That is the ugliest butt I
Have ever seen let's hear
It for not wiping! And this
Guy "fuck wiping dude!"
Brings down the rainforest! Okay this
Is a song I wrote
Mark: That guy has a science
Fair project up his ass

Tom: Uh what? Heads up seven up?
Everyone close your eyes and
If I come by and put my finger in your butt
You're the one

Tom: I think that Satan has
A couple of comments tom
Satan: Well kids, it's been
A really fun show
And I want you all to know
That we'll come back soon
But before I go I wanna say I think Tom is
Extremely good looking and all
The girls out there
Should think he's good looking tom has
One of the best butts that I've ever
Seen! Shimmy shimmy ko-ko-bop
Shimmy shimmy right
Shimmy shimmy ko-ko-bop does anybody here
Want to sleep with me?
I'm really a nice guy! It's really not Satan
Tom: It's me, it's not Satan, let's
All be happy he's not here, say
"fuck Satan!" alright, hey I'm out of
Jokes and out of songs, i think we're done