Blueprint, CJ The Cynic - Kill Me First lyrics

Yeah I'm often haunted by
Thoughts of crooked cops glocks raised
Blockin my sunrays and optimism
It only takes one shot to take what we got
The gift of life
And make your body start to stiffen
It's a shame that we each gotta lose
Loved ones before we see tomorrow's not given
As sure as the sun shines, I'll go for mine
So when I die
At least I'll know that I died livin
Tim Thomas ran from two cops out to get him
Into a dark alley, then two shots hit him
Another inner city killing nobody witnessed
Swept under the rug
As official police business
I seen his moms on television
Pleadin and cryin
Tellin cops to stop killing
And calm down the youth that
Choose not to listen one life, one love
But all we got is vengeance
Now they're on a burn down
The Sin City mission
Lookin for the pigs that licked
Shots and got missin
You know it's chaos even if you don't hear it
Cause the air smells like gun
Smoke and teen spirit
Whatever is goin down I want to be near it
When a thousand stand as one
You start to feel fearless
Enough to walk across hot coal
No matter how hot break another window
Maybe throw another rock
Maybe so, maybe not (maybe so, maybe not)
Maybe I'll be the next black man to get shot
Maybe so, maybe not (maybe so, maybe not)
Maybe I'll be the next black
Man to get shot, but, but

You'll have to kill me first
Before I get inside the paddywagon
You took too many of my people
Nobody knows what happened

It's kind of fucked up cause as a
Child I do remember Officer Friendly
Homey that hit the crib later
To peep the Chi sweeps
Have you ever had your spot raided for dope
Couches ripped
Glass tables flipped, brass bent
Dogs sniffin in the cereal
NyQuil and aspirin tossed out
The medicine cabinets
Just to find these stupid motherfuckers
Had the wrong apartment
No apologies or nothin
Left my mother in tears
After scramblin to get it destroyed
A life scarring
Was bad enough my coat was wore
And hell I even smiled
When a cop ? sloppy in crossfire
Hopin that she died in hallway piss
Retribution for my feelings of bein
Cuffed to a fence
Harassed in front of? droppin my?
White she asked about some fuckin colors
But ain't no Crips from where I reside
On one occasion walkin to Osco
Threatened by a dick
Talkin 'bout we walkin down the wrong blocks
Now that I think about it was the
First time that I saw a Glock
Upper loaded black barrel at eyelevel
These muh'fuckin heathens
And I seen it in the bitch's racist
Face that she wanted to pull
Her image burned inside my mind forever
Until I have yet to tell my seeds
Kaneisha still believes
And I'm prayin it's an occupation
She don't wanna ever see
A living that my cousin wasn't
Blue enough to be
And ever since a child they made
A lifelong enemy of me, shit