Boldy James, Sterling Toles - Mommy Dearest (a eulogy) lyrics

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
Get out of line and I'm gunnin' you down
 so stay in single file
'Fore you in the line of fire, tryna renege
Like you threw a nine of diamonds
Out when I led with spades
And you sittin' trump tight
We got hand grenades, I pull this pin
It's goodnight
Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite
Keep a razor blade or
Jagged-edge butcher knife
Street life - don't catch them lead slugs
Strike or get struck like a match
Need a light? Light you up like a lamp
Lickin' shots like some cunt or a stamp
With my lightning and
Thunderous twin Five-seveNs
Mommy, my aunties and grandma are stressin'
That I need a job
But I can't stop peddlin' drugs


With them Drug Zone ConCreature Spartans
I don't show love, I'm heartless

'Cause she don't even love me like
She did when I was younger
Seems to me she's showing
Favoritism to my younger sibling, thinking
"I wonder if he even love me" i love you
I just got a fucked up way of showin' it
'Cause she don't even

Askin' our mommy, "Where Daddy went?"
To our daddy, "Where Mommy at?"
Him tellin' me, "She ain't comin' back"
Me lookin' at my four-year-old sister
Tears runnin' down her poor little dimples
Damn memories when it was hard
For your little mans
Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Tellin' me that you was on your
Way to come see me
And left me sittin' on the porch in the rain
Freezing had me feelin' like an orphan
The pain stingin'
And gettin' stung by a hornet ain't the same
Neither it run further and way deeper
Than a heartbreakin'
Mind-bogglin' brain freezer
Tellin' James that what I'm
Never sellin' dope
And when he said, "Never"
That's when he let me know
To never say never, because you never know
And if you love someone, let 'em know

'Cause she don't even love me like
She did when I was younger
Seems to me she's showing
Favoritism to my younger sibling, thinking
"I wonder if he even love me" i love you
I just got a fucked up way of showin' it
'Cause she don't even love me like
She did when I was younger
Suckin' on her breast just to
Stop my fuckin' hunger
Since I was a itty-bitty baby in her stomach
I know my mother wish she got a wish
She got a wish she got a

Dear, dear Mommy dearest
I'm dying to live so I stay strapped
You tried to kill me, I died and I came back
Not to mention I gotta deal
White and sell crack you gotta feel me
'cause I ain't have them
Racetrack cars for Christmas or a Nintendo
They stole 'em from us
The night 'fore Christmas
The window was broken out the
House we lived in
On Fairfield, it was way back, I can remember
When I ain't had this Pyrex pot to whip in
Or no endo to smoke a ounce of
A pot to piss in
A window to throw it out of, now I'm shittin'
With this toilet tissue roll of dollars
I wipe my ass with the Grants
I'm a hundred dollar dollar billin'
In Detroit, we get 'em on consignment
I'm tryna get it 'cause now I'm on
Some other kinda type of shit
That didn't kill me, now I'm stronger, mama
My fears, I learned to overcome 'em

Was there any particular song
Of yours you remember that she really
That she found super depressing?
I referenced, uh, Biggie's song
Where he said, you know
His mama wished she had a fuckin abortion
I made a hook out of that line
And it was just called "Mommy Dearest"
This, of course
Is the Biggie track "Suicidal Thoughts"
From Ready To Die that Boldy
Sampled for "Mommy Dearest" unfortunately
"Mommy Dearest" doesn't appear to
Be anywhere online
And because Boldy's out on tour
He was unable to get us the track in
Time for the release of this episode
The song's just dark, my man Sterling Toles
He produced it, and he used to always tell
Me to be more personal
So, the more personal I got
The darker my music got
And then people had to, like
Bring me back to the light
And started telling me like
"Why don't you try to have fun
And party more with your music?"
So that's where we at with it now (Mhm)

'Cause she don't even love me like
She did when I was younger
Suckin' on her breast just to
Stop my fuckin' hunger
Since I was an itty-bitty baby in her stomach
I know my mother wish she
Got a fuckin' abortion
You tried to kill me, I died, and I came