Boondox - Cold Cruel World lyrics

I suffer from depression complete depression
Had it my whole life
I have had it so bad that uh
I've had anxiety
Been diagnosed with major depression
My OCD, which was in control, exploded
Lots of phobias, lots of fears
Anxiety, panic attacks
I had depression before
I didn't know depression could be so bad

Sometimes it feels like the
World's on my shoulders
Everything around me closing in
It's starts to grow colder
It's like I'm sitting on death
Row and waitin' for conclusion
Shit's real fucked up
My brain's filled with much confusion
Do you know what it is to sit a 3 AM
With a gun pressed to your
Temple on your knees prayin'
Or in the bathroom, on the floor
A handful of pills
'Cause the fuckin' rent's due and
You can't pay bills
Have you ever felt the cold grip
Of death in your heart?
I'm talkin' rips right in your
Cavity and pulls it apart
Ten motherfuckin' seconds just from
Ending this shit
Flames rising from the actions that
Your about to commit
Have you ever stopped your car
Somewhere far from everything
Sat a half an hour
Just thinkin' of a better way
To put your soul to rest and
Set your mind at ease
Put the barrel in my mouth
I wanna sleep for all eternity

Dear cold cruel world, why am I here?
I never asked to be alive
Everyday it's just a struggle even to survive
Dear please, just wipe away the tears
I'll be better off when I'm gone
In my own private Hell and left all alone

So many reasons just to
Leave this fuckin' planet
Pressure gets to me so much to
Where you just can't stand it
People hatin', credit problems
Bitch be fuckin' your friends
A million reasons
Circumstances for your soul to transcend
Nobody like me, I'm a loser
Parents wish I was dead
I'm overweight, can't get a date
I'll turn my walls to red
I lock the door, turn up the music
Flip the TV screen
I'll leave a bloody fuckin' mess all
For my moms to clean
It's's to the point that I can't stand it
I can't even try to cope
And you don't know me, you can't help me
You can't offer me no hope
It's too late to try and stop it
I done lost the fuckin' war
I ain't gon' write no fuckin' letter
Leave my answers on the floor
I'm a do it I swear
Don't even think I'm even fuckin' lyin'
Nobody gon' remember me
Nobody gon' be cryin'
All alone in my death like I was in life
Let me take my final breath
They can bury me tonight

Dear cold cruel world, why am I here?
I never asked to be alive
Everyday it's just a struggle even to survive
Dear please, just wipe away the tears
I'll be better off when I'm gone
In my own private Hell and left all alone

You won't miss me when I'm gone
(Flames risin', flames risin')
I know you did me so wrong
(Flames risin') Gunshot

Dear cold cruel world, why am I here?
(Flames risin', flames risin')
Dear please, just wipe away the tears
(Flames risin', flames risin')
Dear cold cruel world, why am I here?
(Just wipe away, just wipe
Away, Flames risin', flames risin')
Dear please, just wipe away the tears
(Just wipe away, just wipe
Away, Flames risin', flames risin')
Dear cold cruel world, why am I here?
(Flames risin', flames risin')
Dear please, just wipe away the tears
(Flames risin', flames risin')

All of y'all within the sound of my voice
My mama was makin' them dishes and whoopin'
'em up in a big wooden
Bowl she sifted that white blossom flour
Through a sifter and took her
Hand and parted that flour in the
Bottom of that wooden bowl
And took a gob of hog
Lard and squished it up with her hand she
Didn't stir it up with no spoon
Squished it up with her hand