Bowling For Soup - Val Kilmer lyrics

I always thought my movie would be a comedy
Not quite the tragedy that it's become
More slapstick than chickflick
More Caddyshack than Breakfast At Tiffany's
So, thank me at the podium
For a lifetime of contribution
Turn on the cameras someone cue the extras
Hair and makeup to the set

Because the big screen's calling
Final casting call
Its your big shot baby your the next big star
Of another stupid movie
'bout a guy with a broken heart
Is falling apart
Your headed for the cutting room floor
And in the sequel honey
I'm the guy who gets the girl

So if you miss my movie get the DVD
Check out the chemistry between you and me
Less 'Raising Arizona'
More 'Steel Magnolias'
So when you walk down that red carpet
I hope you trip and fall
I hope someone squirts you with a watergun
A super soaker filled with pee

Because the big screen's calling
Final casting call
Its your big shot baby your the next big star
Of another stupid movie
About a guy with a broken heart
Is falling apart
Your headed for the cutting room floor
And in the sequel honey
I'm the guy who gets the girl

All apologies to Kevin Costner
And that chick from monster
Give me Adam Sandler
Will Ferrell, Belushi and even Val Kilmer
He was funny in 'Real Genius'
"What about 'Top Gun'?"
"No, 'Top Gun' wasn't funny" "Whatever"

Top secret was funny too
But he sucked as Batman

Because the big screen's calling
Final casting call
Its your big shot baby your the next big star
Of another dumb movie
About a guy with a broken heart
I'm falling apart
Steven Spielberg's calling and he's
Sending a car it's your big shot baby
You're the next big star
Of another stupid movie
About a guy with a broken heart
Who's falling apart
Your headed for the cutting room floor
But in the sequel honey
I'm the guy who gets the girl

I'm the guy that gets the girl
That gets the girl
I'm the guy that gets the girl

Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell, Belushi
And Aykroyd, Chris Farley
Bill Murray in 'Stripes'
Eddie Murphy till 90, Chris
Rock and John Candy
The cast of Hollywood Knights mike Myers
Jim Carrey and the Farelly Brothers
Are more my style
'Terms of Endearment' I didn't get it
I'd much rather shut up and smile