Caleb Hyles - It's Been So Long lyrics

I don't know what I was thinking
Leaving my child behind
Now, I suffer the curse and now,  I am blind

With all this anger, guilt and sadness
Coming to haunt me forever
I can't wait for the
Cliff at the end of the river

Is this revenge I am seeking
Or seeking someone to avenge me?
Stuck in my own paradox
I wanna set myself free
Maybe, I should chase and find
Before they'll try to stop it
It won't be long before I'll become a puppet

It's been so long
Since I last have seen my son
Lost to this monster
To the man behind the slaughter

Since you've been gone
I've been singing this stupid song
So, I could ponder the sanity of your mother

I wish I lived in the present
With the gift of my past mistakes
But the future keeps luring in
Like a pack of snakes

Your sweet little eyes
Your little smile is all I remember
Those fuzzy memories mess with my temper

Justification is killing me
But killing isn't justified
What happened to my son? I'm terrified
It lingers in my mind and the
Thought keeps on getting on bigger
I'm sorry, my sweet baby
I wish I'd been there

It's been so long
Since I last have seen my son
Lost to this monster
To the man behind the slaughter

Since you've been gone
I've been singing this stupid song
So, I could ponder the sanity of your mother