Caleb Hyles - Not My Own lyrics

I've had enough, I've had enough
I've taken all this time in my head
No further along,  I can't resolve
Stop wondering "why?"
It's such a silly question

Pardon my misdirection
I tend to deflect when I'm feeling threatened
I know I'm just a bag of bones
So then why the ache inside?

My life is not my own
Or at least not what it seems
The child before with brightest dreams
Awoken to unflinching reality
I can claim I have control
But the truth never listens to you or me
The sooner that I am crushed by time
The sooner I can finally be set free
Can we be free?

Remember Katie back in high school
And the way she smiled and smelled
When she flipped her hair?
Remember staring at the ceiling and
The pit inside your stomach
When you found out she doesn't care and

Remember listening to your best friend tell
Her abuser that she will "be alright" and
Remember feeling like a feeling maybe
Felt a little freeing
But forgot that you were dead inside?

I've got perspective now and the
World isn't so small
But this reality make me just not "want"
Want to live at all

My life is not my own
Or at least not what it seems
The child before with brightest dreams
Awoken to unflinching reality
I can claim I have control
But the truth never listens to you or me
The sooner that I am crushed by time
The sooner I can finally be set free
Can we be free?

I'm at the ending, I see my family
But we're not broken, we are mending
And all my loved ones, they are surrounding
The fear inside my heart escaping

And suffering has lost it's meaning
And grief and joy, they are both dancing
I hold them close and tell them "I'm sorry"
And they just smile and say
"you were never alone"

You were never alone

This life is cruel, but has potential
There's something greater than we know
Why have meaning when there's no meaning?
The evolution of our understanding
Creating purpose where pain resided
And telling ourselves that it's normal
If this is "living", then tell me
What do I do now?

Do we all just carry on?
Can we all just carry on?

My life is not my own (Is not my own)
Or at least not what it seems
The child before with brightest dreams
Awoken to unflinching reality
I can claim I have control
But the truth never listens to you or me
The sooner that I am crushed by time
The sooner I can finally be set free
(Is not my own, is not my own)

My life is not my own
Or at least not what it seems
The child before with brightest dreams
Awoken to unflinching reality
(My life is not my own)
I can claim I have control
But the truth never listens to you or me
The sooner that I am crushed by time
The sooner I can finally be set free
Can we be free?