CG5 - It's Been So Long lyrics

I dunno what I was thinking
Leaving my child behind
Now I suffer the curse
And now I am blind
With all this anger, guilt and sadness
Coming to haunt me forever
I can't wait for the cliff at the end of the river

Is this revenge I am seeking
Or seeking someone to avange me
Stuck in my own paradox
I wanna set myself free
Or maybe I should chase and find
Before they'll try to stop it
It won't be long before I'll become their puppet

It's been so long
Since I last have seen my son
Lost to this monster
To the man behind the slaughter
Since you've been gone
I've been singing this stupid song
So I could ponder
The sanity of your mother

I wish I lived in the present
With the gift of my past mistakes
But the future keeps lurking in like a pack of snakes
Your sweet little eyes
Your little smile, is all I remember
Those fuzzy memories mess with my temper

Justification is killing me
But killing isn't justified
What happened to my son, I'm terrified
It lingers in my mind
And the thought keeps on getting bigger
I'm sorry my sweet baby
I wish I've been there

It's been so long
Since I last have seen my son
Lost to this monster
To the man behind the slaughter
Since you've been gone
I've been singing this stupid song
So I could ponder
The sanity of your mother