CRUCIFIX - Pain Pill lyrics

In the bowels of life
The only thing we're promised is death what
Do you use to kill the pain?

Rappin' was something that I did when I
Was younger, it wasn't about the money
It was all about the hunger now I'm
Writing while this rap game slumbers
Knowing if I didn't then my
Pain would take me under

Lookin' back on everything that
I've lostI wonder
If the lesson was worth the cost
But from here until we make it to
The Boss what's your Pain Pill?

Jesus Christ
How could I understand a lesson taught
To a boy that was meant
For a man? All my life I had
To stand between purpose and doubt
But what's the point of God's plan if
I can't figure it out? A young boy
With a machete, hiding in the halls
Hearing screams through the windows
Bullets bouncing off the walls as a
Child in the slaughter it ain't about balls
It's about accepting death the moment that
Death calls i remember when my daddy
Looked me in my eyes, and
Said "Son I want you to know
That tonight you're gonna die
But you fight for your family and life
Is all that you lose and
You kill as many of these
Rebel soldiers before you
Do" Too young to grasp the meaning of death
But old enough to grasp that killing
Was all we had left so you accept the
Bloodshed in circumstances
And turn a blind eye to conscience while
Lucifer dances this lesson I learned came
With a price growing up believing that death
Was just a way of life
And to this day I feel the thunder
But I never see the rain i
Made it out my family's slaughter to
End up dying in my pain

Lookin' back on everything that I've lost
I wonder if the lesson was worth
The cost but from here
Until we make it to the
Boss what's your Pain Pill?

Ain't nothing sweeter than a
Finger of that Afgoo
To roll up my pain and blow it to my
Rearview cuz dwelling on it
Multiplies the anger
So until I'm gone I'll be known for rolling
Gorilla Fangaz! Kill it all! When I
Got that call from Khujo Goodie, told me
That my n P-Nut was shot
Dropped and bloodied 3 birds to the chest
But just one bird shy
To survive the fire it took
Him 3 days to die now I hate myself
For 3 days I cried i gave
Him dap the night before
But never said goodbye then 3 days
Later once I've dried my eyes
I hear my cousin was tortured for 3 days and
Burnt alive i was petrified! With one thing
To decide whether or not when I kill these
B es I cut out their eyes so
As I'm walkin' out the door
In a rage of revenge
I realize I'm gambling the lives of
My 3 kids so listen for
Wisdom, here's the lesson everything
Comes in 3s, even the blessings so
If it took Jesus 3 days
To rise from the dead
Then here's my Pain Pill 3
Gorilla Fangaz to the head!

Lookin' back on everything that I've lost
I wonder if the lesson was worth
The cost but from here
Until we make it to the
Boss what's your Pain Pill?

I find I'm lost inside this
Pain from all this death
I've seen and I don't know what it takes to
Make this suffering leave
Until I hear the Boss saying drop
Your pain on me but here I go again
Seeking out a substance to take away my pain
I notice i notice that
It don't do a thang i don't mean to be
Hurtin', I don't need to be
Burdened if death is all
That's certain then I can
Live by Faith jehovah
Father i lay my pain at your feet

Lookin' back on everything that I've lost
I wonder if the lesson was worth
The cost but from here
Until we make it to the
Boss what's your Pain Pill?