Dave, Ruelle - Lesley lyrics

Look they say the universe
It works in a strange way
And it must be true because
We ain't from the same
Background or same place
But me and Lesley ended up on that same train
I'm talking everyday
I used to wake up around seven or eight
To catch the 9: 06 from Norbury Station
Two different worlds in the
Same location and-
One day we ended up speaking
And I would talk about college
She would talk about meetings
And how she's planning on leaving
How she hates what she does but she needs it
I asked her what she was doing
It's the weekend and she said, she said

I don't know myself
I don't know myself no more



She used to be the life of the party for true
And now she going out hardly ever
Her man got her in the yard forever
And her friends wanna help but
It's hard to tell her
Hard to let her know that
Her man's possessive and aggressive
And she can't even see it, but
For them it's clear as day
She's in a situation her friend Hannah had a
Man that was manipulative
So, she could see it from a mile off
Turtleneck jumpers
Makeup around the eye spots
All the signs were there
But Lesley made it seem a light affair
Said it wasn't right to share
Her boyfriend, he was a mystery man
I didn't know much about him
But he's been in the can name's Jason
He's a bad boy with no reasoning
To be honest
I don't know what Les' sees in him
'Cause she's a good girl with a sweet heart
But they've both got demons and a deep past
You know opposites attract, apparently
I never heard her talk about her family ever
Uh uh he was all that she had
Until they had an argument and
He stopped calling her back
And I don't know if there was
More to the story than that
'Cause she plays things down
But according to that
He went missing one day in the morning he ran
She's doing overtime
Struggling affording the flat 'Til she
Lost her job it fucked all of her plans
Couldn't pay the rent
Borrowing and calling for cash
But Hannah she was there for her
Cared for her when I saw Les' she told me

I don't know myself
I don't know myself no more

Les' saying, "I got nothing to live for
It's been raw, but David
I ain't never been this poor
There's no income, my boyfriend left me
So how the fuck am I going
To survive when this kid's born?"
I said, "It's a blessing as mad as it is
And Les'
I never even knew that you were having a kid"
Bro, she's four months pregnant
Young and neglected
Single but I don't think she
Wants to accept it
So she's still texting exes
Trying to get this back on track but I don't
Think that she gets it
It's emotional obsession, clinical depression
Life is a lesson
And you ain't got to sit and cry
And Lesley, living in this gift called life
There's no better gift than the gift of life
So, can you handle it?

I don't know myself
I don't know myself no more

But that changed her perspective
Late in December, her baby's expected to drop
She's accepted, excited, electric, pumped
Only got to wait a few months
Her and Hannah had lunch
Told her she's pregnant
And they're the closest of bredrins
So she didn't stunt to tell her
I think that it's an error
You ain't a mum for a day
You're a mum forever
Whatever, and you and Jason break up whenever
If I'm honest that's something you
Should have done together
She doesn't know that her and
Jason are going out again
And Jason doesn't know that Lesley's
Carrying a child for them
She had daydreams of settling
Down with Jason
Better 'cause now they're together it's wild
Feeling like she needs to call her
Friends and tell 'em 'cause while
She's letting him down but most
Of them are never around
She calls Hannah the next day
Still tryna figure out the best
Way to tell her
That she's getting back together
With an ex-flame so she left her a voicemail
Like "Yo Hannah
It's Les' can you call me back?
I wanna talk about the baby, you, me, Jason
All of that i've been feeling like I need
To get my aura back
I used to be so fucking confident
But these days, I swear that-"

I don't know my self
I don't know myself no more

It's 3: 30 Lesley was meant to get a scan
But today I think she's going home early
Tryna talk to Jason, tell him 'bout the kid
Addressing any reservations
Have that conversation
Middle of the summer and it's raining
Waiting at the train station
Hella cancellations
So she gets a taxi, sitting in a backseat
Blue jean jacket and a maxi
Actually, tired and her legs are aching
Touched the destination
Way faster than the cab driver's estimation
She put the key in the door
She, couldn't believe what she
See on the floor
Some size five trainers, raging
Tears in her eyes, but it's cool 'cause they
Must be the neighbors
And Jason's in the bedroom fully naked
Lesley running up the stairs
But she's making noise
And she can hear Jason's voice
Saying "Hide in the closet"
But he's made his choice
So, she bursts in saying "What kind of
Person would cheat on
His pregnant girlfriend?"
Jason, saying "What the fuck
You're pregnant? What the fuck?
You weren't even gonna tell me
I mean what the fuck?
What do you want from us?
Nah, you ain't in love, you just wanna love"
Lesley telling Jason, "I don't wanna love
I don't want a you and I, I don't want an us
And also, I don't wanna talk loads
One more line before I dash like Morse code"
Open the wardrobe and Jason's on the edge
"I just wanna see if she
Was prettier than me, slimmer than me
Maybe your baby's similar to me
Maybe you wanted someone thicker than me
Fitter than me
To satisfy you quicker than me
I got your baby in my stomach
And you did this to me
What did I ever do to you
For you to finish with me?
I didn't believe my girls but
They were thinking of me
And give it to me, the wardrobe
Give me the key" i was pulling up the door
But Jason's bigger than me
Literally, I remember viscerally
Jason pulling from behind me now
He's gripping on me
White flashes, eye gashes, when
He's hitting me, see
I just wanted to disappear I
Wasn't living for me
Physically I shut the fucking doors
Quick as can be
He's outside asking why I made
Him do what he did
Using a kick to open up the room that I'm in
I'm feeling afraid, barricaded
With a chair in the handle
I'm hearing sirens but I just wanna
Run away but I can't
Jason's gone by the time police
Are comin' they saw
That ain't no one else in the house
And feds are running through
The door shouting "'We
Have reports of an argument with a woman'
There's blood all over the floor and
It's splattered onto the wall
Les ley's on the bed and she's
Tryna speak to the feds
She's deep in the stress and
It's meters above her head
If anything, she couldn't even say anything
But she's got this really sharp
Pain where her belly is
So, they call an ambulance
Lesley didn't plan for this
Police are in the room tryna find
The missing piece of the puzzle
Until they stumble on something
That's kind of random
It's a phone in the wardrobe
They had five missed phone calls
From Jason and also a
Couple other numbers so they thinking
That it's no help
Until they play the voicemail
Like "Yo Hannah
It's Les' can you call me back?
I wanna talk about the baby, you, me, Jason
All of that i've been feeling like I need
To get my aura back
I used to be so fucking confident
But these days, I swear that-"

I don't know my self
I don't know myself no more

She felt sick to her stomach
She started panicking mind rattling
Tryna understand what Hannah did
Battling the shame 'cause
The situation embarrassing
She's tryna fathom it betrayed
By her own garrison
Meanwhile, she's on the bed tryna manage this
Piercing pain in the stomach
She couldn't handle it
Now she's waiting for an ambulance look
And I know she's strong
But when I heard about what
Happened I was over-shocked
Her nose was gone
Her jaw line shattered and rocked
They said her baby was the
Reason she was holding on
She dozing off, doctors getting no response
Her heart rate slowing down and
They don't know what's wrong
Picked her up, got her out the home and onto
The stretcher for good measures
But she's fading out, oh
She took damage to the brain and
Now she's in a coma as
We speak but I ain't sure if
She can make it out
You see this time that I'm
Taking out to tell you
The story is more than a song or track
It's a message to a woman with a toxic man
I'm begging you to get support
If you're lost or trapped
I understand that I can never
Understand and I ain't
Saying that it's easy but it must be right
Some of your sisters, aunties, mums or wives
Are fucked aside and they will
Never touch on why
I'm touched 'cause I've seen women
That I love though like-
Cry little red tears through a bloodshot eye
This shit's awful
No matter what culture it ain't normal
Men try and twist it
Make it seem like it's your fault
In that train full of
People that you're taking
How many Lesleys are running
From their Jasons?

Angel without wings
Like the day without the night
To bring her peace a song without a voice
A spark without a flame
A child without a name oh, it's just wrong

Like an ocean without a shore
A soldier without a war
How can we do this anymore?
A song without a voice
A spark without a flame
A child without a name oh, it's just wrong

Well, we've made a massive amount of
Progress in this last year, haven't we?
Feels like a long journey
And I must say it's been a pleasure
To watch you mature and grow in thought
And in your career and life
You've opened up immensely
I'd be lying if I said
I wouldn't miss these sessions but you know
You can never stop learning about yourself
So you're always welcome
I'm just happy you're at a place now
Where you feel you understand your emotions
And are in control